HAPPY ALL DAY Simple Daily Practices for a Happier Life
by Judith Fertig
in the mind, he says, conscious self- observation introduces a space between our perceptions and responses, allow- ing us to view our thoughts as separate from the person we really are. Complementary methods may include breathing techniques or body awareness that help shift us away from anxious, “What if?” speculations into the ever-present now. With just a few minutes of mindfulness a day—the first thing in the morning or at night before retiring— according to Verni, “We can shift our relationship to ourselves and our life ex- periences in a way that allows for greater spaciousness, acceptance and compas- sion, and in doing so, can dramatically improve the quality of our lives.”
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hroughout the past decade, suc- cess researchers and positive psychologists have sketched out in broad strokes the big picture of our elemental yearning for happiness. Ac- cording to Martin Seligman, Ph.D., and his colleagues at the University of Penn- sylvania, in Philadelphia, inner happi- ness derives from four basic elements: positive emotion, relationships, mean- ing in life and accomplishment. What we want to know now is how to instill happiness into daily practices. In her latest book, Better Than Before: Mastering The Habits Of Our Ev- eryday Lives, happiness expert Gretchen Rubin fleshes out the needed details. She maintains that the shift into a hap- pier way of being can be as simple as changing our habits, which she terms the invisible architecture of daily life. Rubin found, “We repeat about 40 percent of our behavior almost daily, so our habits shape our existence and our future. If we change our habits, we change our lives.” We can start small in sometimes
surprising ways that encourage person- al, family, workplace and community well-being.
Simplify—Exercise—Meditate Israeli-born Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D., a for- mer Harvard lecturer and author of the bestselling Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, had
20 Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, PA
854 students enroll in one of his pio- neering classes on happiness in 2006, the highest enrollment for any class at the time. “Students explored ways to apply these ideas to their life experienc- es and communities,” he says. Today, he lectures and consults worldwide on the science of happiness, or “optimal being and functioning”.
Ben-Shahar suggests we cultivate three personal habits. The first one is to simplify, saying, “We need to turn off our phones, email and other distrac- tions at home, so we can fully be with the people we care about and that care about us. Time affluence—time to enjoy and appreciate—is a predictor of hap- piness.” The second is to exercise. “We were not meant to be sedentary,” he says. The third is to meditate. “Meditat- ing helps us to develop extreme resil- ience to negative emotion.” Ken
A.Verni, Psy.D., a clinical psy-
chologist in Highland Park, New Jersey, endorses the importance of a mindful- ness habit. In his new book, Happiness the Mindful Way: A Practical Guide, Verni outlines easy, step-by-step actions to form a new happiness habit that con- currently reduces stress and increases enlightenment. He starts with what he calls “compassionate attention”; be- ing fully awake or present in our lives without judging what we’re thinking. When we view our thoughts as events
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Daily Joy at Home Another way to improve the quality of our life is to reverse one habit. Shonda Rhimes, creator of TV dramas that include Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal, admits that she’s a driven, Type-A person in her new book, Year of Yes. A busy career in Los Angeles, three children and little leisure left her feeling unhappy, so instead of reciting her habitual, “No” to anything extraneous—like parties, eating chocolate chip cookies or spending a lazy afternoon chatting with an old friend—she decided to change that habit to, “Yes.” One of Rhimes’ most profound
revelations occurred after she respond- ed positively when her children asked her to play. She observes that kids don’t want that much from us and playtime rarely involves more than 15 minutes; when we give them access and atten- tion, it makes everyone feel good. Rubin agrees that it’s the little things that can contribute to family hap- piness. As a New York City mother of two, she decided that she’d be happier if she knew she was creating family memories. She started regularly prepar- ing “special occasion” family breakfasts, a relatively easy meal to customize. She says, “Studies show that family tradi- tions support children’s social develop- ment and strengthen family cohesive- ness. They provide the connection and predictability that people crave. I know that I enjoy a holiday more when I know exactly what we’re going to do
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