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Poor old Johnny Ray sounded sad upon the radio. ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido. ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

Up in the club, we just broke up, I’m doing my own little thing.


I’ll sing it one last time for you, then we really have to go. ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

I was feeling insecure, you might not love me anymore.

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.

I run for the bus, dear, while riding I think of us dear.

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯ ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯ ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

A long long time ago I can still remember how that music used to make me smile.

walked into a bar...

a man

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Never, under any

circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on

the same night.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Why does someone Find the answers exclusively online at



Te Fat Cat What?

Ilkley Brewery

Ah tap takeovers. Te best way to legitimately try four or five different beers, in one evening, in the middle of the week. Te Ilkley Brewery, (located in Ilkley, Yorkshire, funnily enough) was paying a visit to our Fine City and I can’t resist a tap takeover. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a brewery gets together with a pub and puts a bunch of their beers on tap all at once, often giving away merch and beer talks at the same time. Ilkley had ten of their beers on. I managed to try four, or maybe five, before getting put on my arse by a chocolate and chipotle stout. Te Mary Jane was a good place to start at only 3.5%. Te Ilkley Pale (mellow)

and Olicana Pale (fresh) were easy to drink and would make great session beers. Crossroads was my favourite, though unfortunately for me it was also the strongest of the cask ales at 5.4% (I didn’t make it to the kegs). Combining four different hops (hence the

name) it had depth of flavour with warm citrus tones. Or notes. Or something. Ten I was handed the aforementioned chipotle stout. From which brewery I could not tell you, but I can tell you it pushed me over the edge for a Tursday and because of which, I missed out on any raffle prizes. Why do they always call the tickets at the end?

Check out more beer-themed ramblings at

believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but

check when you say the paint is wet?

Te early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse

gets the cheese. During sex, my

girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

I watched the Grand

Prix, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like

they’re at home, even if you wish they were. / June 2016/ 7

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