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Superhero films are very much like bouts of crippling menstrual cramp; they come around approximately every month and are very little fun for all concerned. Also, girls don’t like them (superhero films that is, not cramps. But not those either). Or at least that’s what Marvel thinks, as revealed by last-month’s revelation that they removed the female villain from Iron Man 3 due exclusively to concerns over “merchandising revenue”. Tis depressing example of contemptuous genderism has done little to change my long-held opinion that superhero films have become creative voids; identikit action romps peppered with just enough obscure references and inside jokes to convince comic book fans that they’re in an exclusive little club of knowing cinemagoers, when in fact they’re bloated man-babies being sold plastic toys by Scarlet Johansson’s arse.

Yeah, I was pretty much done with superhero films. Ten I met Deadpool, and I think I’m in love.

How could I not fall for Ryan Reynolds’ scrotum-faced, meta mercenary; he’s exciting, he’s hilarious, he’s adventurous in bed, and when he speaks directly to me, I feel like I’m the only person in the room. Most importantly, he shares my contempt for superhero films. And he lets me watch him shag his hot girlfriend.

I’m even willing to forgive his flaws; his arc is predictable, his love interest is a hoary/whorey cliché, and he

makes too many bum-jokes, but I think those things are adorable - they may even be intentional.

For now, though, it’s difficult to say whether Deadpool has restored my faith in superhero-film-kind, or spoiled me for all other superhero films. C'est l'adore.

Jay Freeman

June FILM RELEASES 10 JuneWhere to invade next Michael Moore visits Europe for his latest shock-doc, in order to see just what America could learn from other countries. Te shock in this one being that it’s not shocking. At all. In fact, he’s gone a bit Michael Palin. He’s right though. Again.

24 JuneElvis and Nixon You know when Elvis met Nixon, right? Of course you do – it’s the most commonly requested photograph in the national archives. No? Google it. So, Elvis just rocks up at the White House one day and asks to see Nixon. Tis film’s about that. Shannon plays Presley, Spacey plays Nixon. Brilliant.

17 June Tale of TalesMatteo Garrone’s first English-speaking movie, starring Vincent Cassel, Salma Hayek and Toby Jones in three interwoven stories based on the fairytales of Giambattista Basile. One for lovers of the dark and macabre.

23 JuneIndependence Day: ResurgenceJeff Goldblum, sans Will Smith, returns to save the Earth again. 20 years after the first alien attack was foiled by an interweb virus, they’re back. Luckily, he’s got Liam Hemsworth and a $200,000,000 budget to help him. Bigger, badder, and blockbustier than ever. Smiley


06 June Te Revenant Alejandro Iñárritu directs Leo DiCaprio to his first Oscar in this award-laden revenge epic. Wince as Leo gets violently mauled by a bear, wince again as Leo spends the night in a scooped-out horse corpse, and wince once more as Leo sets fire to his own throat. Easily the winciest film I’ve seen all year.

13 June Bone TomahawkKurt Russell and chums exchange anecdotes and Wild West wisdom while avoiding cannibals in first-time director S. Craig Zahler’s highly original Western/horror sour mash-up. Excellent gory fun, and destined to be a cult classic.

20 June Trumbo Tis fascinating look at Hollywood McCarthyism and its effect on the life of pinko screenwriting legend Dalton Trumbo was largely panned by critics, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s smart, ambitious, and Bryan Cranston’s Oscar-nommed performance is worth the ticket price alone.

27 June How to be SingleTis hit-and-miss hybrid of rom-com and bawdy chick-flick is distracting enough, and it’s certainly not a bad film, but it feels like a waste of Rebel Wilson’s considerable talent. Still, there are much worse films of this type you could watch. Lots of them. Jay Freeman

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