Out on DVD this month
SPECTRE
Spectre opens with an impressively long tracking shot, segueing effortlessly into an over-the-top action set piece in which Bond bungles an assassination,
destroys a building, and has a fight in a helicopter above a carnival. Cue dreamy credit sequence featuring interspecies octopus porn - the climax of which is a gun barrel with all ink coming out the end - and we’re set for a face-full of classic Jimmy Bond. But it’s a bit too classic - and it’s very hard to swallow.
Skyfall, the first Sam Mendez-directed Bond installment, deftly redefined the franchise, being not just a great Bond film, but a great film film. With Spectre, Mendez’s second and last outing, he’s drawn Bond full-circle, reconnecting him with the Connery era, and presenting what is, in part, the timeline-straining origin story of a well-known villain.
Unfortunately, this back-to-bollocks approach has reintroduced many of the franchise’s problems (simpering female “characters,” clunking dialogue, gaping plot-holes) which Skyfall so skillfully avoided.
Commendably, Mendez tries to keep things relevant by coupling the usual chase-fight-bonk-fight-chase-fight- bonk structure with a natty mass- surveillance-is-bad subplot, pitting Bond against an old enemy while “M” does battle with a new one. You see, there’s spying, and then there’s snooping, and snooping just isn’t cricket, what.
Spectre wants to be a serious comment on state surveillance while simultaneously showing Bond destroying entire underground bases with a single gunshot, seducing the recently bereaved, and downing helicopters with a pea- shooter. It just doesn’t work. I know Bond films are supposed to be a bit daft, but Spectre verges on the stupid. Jay Freeman
February FILM RELEASES 05 February Dads ArmyFor those of you who don’t know, Dad’s Army was a catchphrase-based comedy show from the 1960s about the Home Guard. For those of you who don’t know, the Home Guard was made up of people who were too old or infirm to kill people in Europe during World War II. So why, after all this time, have they decided to remake it? Well, that I don’t know. We’re all doomed.
10 February DeadpoolFor those of you who don’t know, Deadpool is a Marvel comic book anti-hero, who due to some genetic tinkering, has accelerated healing powers (like Wolverine), a dark, twisted sense of humour, and a penchant for breaking the fourth wall. Also, this is the first ‘R’ rated Marvel movie. For those of you who don’t know, an ‘R’ rating means that he says “fuck” and shoots people. Right in the face. Enjoy.
19 February Bone Tomahawk Kurt Russell makes the most of the magnificent soup- strainer that he grew on his face for the Hateful Eight by banging out another Western this month. Tis time, he heads up a posse to rescue some folks from a gang of cannibals living in ‘them thar caves over yonder’. I expect he’ll be doing more riding around than in H8, and less eating the stew.
26 February Hail Caesar!Eagerly awaited (by me) Coen Brothers comedy about a 1950s Hollywood studio ‘fixer’, as he cleans up behind its big name stars. Speaking of big names, it stars George Clooney, Josh Brolin, Tilda Swinton, Scarlett Johansson, Ralph Fiennes, Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, Dolph Lundgren, Frances McDormand, and Christopher Lambert. Smiley
February DVD RELEASES 01 February Hail Caesar!Emily Blunt and Benicio del Toro are superb in this visceral and intense bottom-up look at Mexican drug cartels and the US government’s attempts to “control” them. Roger Deakins’ Oscar-nominated cinematography is a joy, too.
08 February Te MartianTere’s Oscar nominations out the wazzoo for this top class uber-sciencey Sci-Fi from the undisputed master of the genre. Matt Damon is typically excellent as the stranded, disco-hating astronaut surviving on a diet of spuds grown in his own shit. Another technical tour de force from Ridley Scott (or Ridley Scat, if you prefer).
15 February Crimson Peak Guillermo del Toro’s sumptuous gothic romance is a feast for the eyes and boasts some genuinely chilling moments, but remains largely a predictable haunted-house pot-boiler, never straying very far from the tropes of the genre. Having said that, though, what it does, it does very well.
22 February A Walk in the WoodsTis adaptation of travel writer Bill Bryson’s account of his attempt to hike the Appalachian Trail with his disheveled ex-boozer buddy Stephen Katz does the book a slight disservice, but Robert Redford and Nick Nolte are an engaging odd couple. Jay Freeman
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