DVD of the month
For those of us too young to remember, Te Equalizer was an 80’s American TV
show based in New York in which an icy Edwood Woodwood played a retired CIA agent who helped little old ladies, desperate fat useless men, and shoulder-padded, bouffant-bonced damsels out of sticky situations. Actually, it was pretty good, and deservedly popular, so it’s a minor miracle that it’s taken this long for some idea-starved, Hollywood guff-merchant to green-light a film version.
So, here we have an icy Denzel Washington playing a CIA agent who’s faked his own death, helping a teenaged prostitute and a fat useless man out of a sticky situation by taking on police corruption, refined sugar, and the entire Russian mafia. It all starts very well,
THE EQUALIZER
developing characters with none-too- subtle literary references and building slowly to the inevitable Slavic ass- kickery. Unfortunately it then runs out of ideas, spending its remaining 90 minutes on a descent into revenge- porn-by-numbers with puerile glee, each heavily-accented anonymous goon being dispatched more gruesomely than the last. Tis, then, is a very graphic Equalizer.
If that’s your kind of thing, though, then you could do worse. It’s a damn sight more entertaining than watching Liam Neeson capping Arabs to save his snivelling daughter’s hymen for the seventh time, but only because Denzel Washington is as charismatic and watchable as ever. However, if you’re expecting something with the charm and wit of the original series, this will disappoint. Jay Freeman
January FILM RELEASES
01 January BirdmanSoon-to-be Oscar nominated comedy drama starring Michael Keaton as a washed up actor overshadowed by the superhero character he used to play. Will he be able to redeem his career by putting on a Broadway production? Also stars Emma Stone, Zach Galifianakis and Naomi Watts. Witty.
08 January Taken 3Soon-to-be-on Channel 5 unintentional comedy starring Liam Neeson as a washed up C.I.A actor overshadowed by a previous rubbish sequel. Will he find them and kill them? Again? Well, the poster says “It Ends Here.” Let’s fucking hope so. Also stars Maggie Grace and Famke Janssen. Shitty.
16 January American SniperSoon-to-be Oscar nominated true-story war drama starring Bradley Cooper as a US Navy S.E.A.L actor with a career including more than 150 confirmed kills and two Oscar nominations. Will this film open your eyes to the reality of war and the sacrifice made by the few to protect the many? Directed by Clint Eastwood. Gritty.
23 January A Most Violent YearSoon-to-be… you get the idea. Crime drama starring Oscar Isaac as a criminally overlooked actor, who (in a sepia-tone 80s American crime drama about an ambitious immigrant fighting to protect both his family and his wealth) proves to everyone that he’s the fucking tits. Will he triumph? Also starring Jessica Chastain, and set in New York. City. Smiley
JanuaryDVD RELEASES
05 January Uncle - Series 1Star-in-the-making Nick Helm (seriously, YouTube him) carries this overlooked BBC3 comedy gem. An out-of-work musician forges an unlikely friendship with his socially inept 12-year-old nephew. Catch up before Series 2 airs later this year.
12 January LucyA leaky ingested drug bag turns ScarJo into a hyper-intelligent killing machine. We’ve all been there. It’s a silly, energetic film, and ScarJo is typically engaging throughout. Not director Luc Besson’s best (that would be Leon), but not his worst (take your pick).
19 January BoyhoodDirector Richard Linklater has made a truly remarkable and original piece of cinema. It was 12 years in the making - using the same cast - and focusses on the emotional development of its 6 to 18 year old protagonist. Critically adored, it will feature heavily in the upcoming awards season.ny, it’s destined for cult- classic status.
26 January A Walk Among the TombstonesFamiliar territory for world-weary, hard- drinking, baddie-capping Liam Neeson, but much better than the fourteen Taken films, and Red Bull (or was it Relentless? Nope, Non-stop, that was the one.) Probably his best role for a few years. Jay Freeman
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