LIFE ABOARD
least a month. It is like that here. They implore you to make sure they are looking when you fall in so they can enjoy a good smirk. I recall taking the River Taxi on a lumpy sea and stupidly asking the skipper if he thought we would make it across. He fairly shook with mirth and finally managed to splutter gleefully “Well, my half will, my lovely!” The river Dart is as dangerous as it is beautiful and when you are leaving your boat to go ashore, usually on a daily basis, it’s as well to remind yourself that it only has to be lucky once so it behoves you to respect it. I am still amused though by the tale of a sailor who went ashore on Christmas eve to buy his dinner for the next day and partook of the local ale so determinedly that on returning to his boat via his dory, he toppled overboard. He let his sprouts, parsnips and potatoes drift away but demonstrated in my opinion an excellent sense of priority by grabbing the bottle of whisky and the turkey – shoving the one into the others bum and reboarding. Lunch sorted and no need for any salt either. You can’t help but smile… Having said that, the Harbour Master says he takes a dim view of drinking and sailing and rightly so. sadly it caused a lot of mariners to laugh so much they had to go to the local pub to recover. He has an unenviable task! We are all still licking our wounds after the tempests. Our hull has been clouted with tree trunks and even our own rowing boat when one of the painters snapped but I knew it would hold. When we had my state of the art
electronic flushing head fitted (I can’t be doing with all this peeing and pumping malarkey you get with sea heads) they had to drill out a piece of the hull. It’s about two inches thick and I keep it on display as a mere glance at it is reas- suring. simon – he of the fuel barge – is a perfect example of your Dart mariners. He tried to get to the barge in the fiercest storm and was blown flat onto the pontoon. This was fortunate as if he had been in the wheelhouse, he would have had his head sliced off! The fuel barge is natu- rally maintained to the highest possible standards but the ferocity of the wind caused a window to blow in which cre- ated a vortex and it flew around taking out more windows as it went. On reflection, though, he is so tough that he would probably have just jammed his head back on, raised a fist to the skies, sworn vigorously and eaten a Devon pasty. We keep an eye on him because he knows the river like the back of his hand. If he can’t get across, nobody can. Another of my local heroes, when asked why he wasn’t
displaying his mooring permit, retorted that he had no intention whatsoever of messing up his fine varnish with stickers and had chosen rather to have it tattooed on the cheeks of his – well, you get my drift!- and began to undo his belt to demonstrate. I nearly choked. Hub has just come up and asked me if I am still scribbling nonsense. Must go; there seems to be a block that needs knocking off… •
NEWTON ELECTRIC LIGHT COMPANY
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