OF MICE AND MEN


before we became aware that we were not alone. It began with a minor dispute about the mess in my beloved’s vehicle. I had grumbled about the ripped-up sweet papers all over the front passenger foot well, and Iomhair, as he frequently does, had denied all responsibility and brushed my accusations aside. As no one but us had used the car, I just raised


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my eyebrows and gave a cheeky response. But he stuck to his story. Not long after, I was helping myself to a bar


of chocolate in the door pocket when I noticed more papers on the floor ripped into tiny little pieces, plus some rather ominous slivers of plastic wire coverings. I looked more closely at the chocolate: it was already open at one corner. And then I noticed the teeth marks. Iomhair has big teeth, and these marks were


tiny. A mouse! We worked out that a fortnight earlier during a car clean-up operation, Iomhair had left a rucksack in the shed overnight before putting it back into the car. He had then driven to Glasgow, and we had both been to Perth on several occasions, as well as buzzing about locally daily. Having sneaked into the bag, the backpacking


mouse must have revelled in the warmth of the car while fuelled with a feast of crisp and chocolate crumbs. Its penchant for car wiring was of graver concern. We set a couple of traps and caught the culprit within hours. It was then fed to my owls, while I had to eat humble pie. At the moment, Edinburgh has a higher


rate of pest control call-outs due to mice than any other Scottish city. For such diminutive creatures, the amount of damage they inflict is astonishing. Responsible for floods when plastic piping is chewed through, and fires when they cause wires to short out, mice can also be the ruination of crops and gardens, as well as destroying personal items. They are the bane of insurance companies; indeed, many won’t pay up for ‘mouse damage’. (It’s crucial to scrutinise the small print before you sign up.) Like their close relative the rat, their propaga-


tion rates are alarming. Their rampant sex lives and the fact that they can breed at less than two months of age (and all year round) are only part of the issue. Males are said to sing squeaky love


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Left: Mice have to feed up to 20 times a day – and while berries are nice, paper, skirting boards and electric wiring will also do.


hey say you can tell a great deal about a person by the state of their car. We had been driving around for a fortnight


‘Responsible for floods when pipes are chewed through, and fires when they cause wires to short, mice can also be the ruination of crops’


CREATIVENATURE/SHUTTERSTOCK


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