CELEBRITY PRANKSTERS
by tim parks
As a lifelong prankster, I absolutely adore it when April Fools’ Day rolls around. It’s a brief moment during the year, the idea of which I fully subscribe to. It’s an concept which should be extended for the entire month rather than one measly day. Ever since I was a kid and first got my April Fools’ on by putting spiders in my parents slippers
(I of course practiced safe-joking as the offending arachnids were rubber), to when I grew older, the glee that I relished of a joke gone over well proved every bit as satisfying. Whether it was smashing up Junior Mints and placing them in my nephew’s underwear (not
while wearing them, this isn’t a creepy episode ofTouched by an Uncle on Lifetime), taken from his overnight bag whilst forging a note explaining that he had an “accident.” Though I must say, based on the amount of faux-poo, it looked more like major mushy mayhem. Somehow the tides have turned slightly and the jokes of late have been on me more often
than not. The best example so far? Having a live chicken tossed into the shower with me. But come the current April Fools’ Day, vengeance will be mine and more bitter than sweet, okay? As a pop culture kind of guy, I will definitely look to celebrities for guidance, since many have
proven track records in regard to getting the better of their peers via prankishness. Trust me though, I won’t be aiming my sights anywhere near Justin Bieber for help—especially in the area of “how best to egg a house.” No, I’ll just wait until he self-destructs a bit more, or comes out with his own line of feminine hygiene products before I pay him any more attention.
Rumor has it that Johnny Depp literally caused a
stink when he employed the services of a remote- controlled fart machine on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Ironically, his co-star Penelope Cruz had already “caught wind” of Depp’s breezy shenanigans on the set of their movie Blow. During filming it is said, Depp utilized his brand of crop-dusting during dramatic scenes. Cruz probably figured one of the crew had indulged in one too many cups of Nespresso.
Ashton Kutcher is regarded as “jokester-of- I’ll Take Pranksters for $100, Alex. Chances are if you were anOcean’s Eleven cast member as well as on set at any of the sequels,
then you know your way around a joke—let’s just say, like Lindsay Lohan’s lips know their way around, um, a cigarette... and yes, that was the parallel I was looking for. The ringleader in a game of one-upmanship is star-of-the-movie, George Clooney. While filming was underway on Ocean’s Twelve in Italy, he drafted a memo to the Italian crew ordering them to never look Brad Pitt directly in the eyes during filming, signed by Pitt himself. Oh man, that’s almost on par with the one he pulls on his girlfriends… regarding his desire for a long-term commitment. Speaking of commitments, Pitt reaped his revenge by informing Italian reporters that he
would marry as soon as it was legal for Clooney to wed his boyfriend. Oh you crazy heteros! Co-starMatt Damon made it a comic ménage à trois, by confirming to said media hounds, that he and Pitt had been on Clooney’s ass, err, case, to make things right by walking down the aisle with his boyfriend.
the-highest-order…” Remember the time he married Demi Moore? Such an imp! More than likely, it is because of Kutcher’s updated version of TV’s Bloopers and Practical Jokes, called Punk’d, which had the Two and a Half Men star pulling shenanigans on his celebrity friends. One of the most infamous pranks in the annals of the show occurred during the first season and involved superstar Justin Timberlake. He was led to be- lieve that the tax man was relieving him of all his possessions and appeared to be quite choked up by the humiliating experience. Perhaps it inspired his hit song titled “Cry Me A River?” At any rate, the pop star/actor admitted later that he was very love-stoned at the time of filming. Well, that’s just high-larious.
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RAGE monthly | APRIL 2014
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