Keeping Your Relationship Healthy While Getting Healthy
W
hen one partner in a rela- tionship decides to clean up their diet or start exer-
cising, it's common for the other to resent the extra efforts in some way. You're off working out, running, or walking, while your partner sullenly sits on the couch, alone and feeling like a lump. They may resent the healthier foods being forced on their plate during family dinners, or even flat out refuse to eat them. Time that used to be for the two of you is now focused completely on yourself, leaving your other half resentful. While they may not allow for a
complete overhaul, there are ways to slowly begin to include your partner in your new lifestyle. Stud- ies have shown that couples who work together towards a healthier lifestyle are more likely to stay together and stick with the chang- es they've made.
Here are some tips to get you started:
1. Understand that they may not be ready. A lifestyle change can be dramatic, and even traumatic, for
some people. They may not want to make a change at all, even when it's desperately needed. In the fitness field, we call this the Precontemplation Phase. To move them into the Contemplation Phase, take small steps to sneak in a bit of extra exercise or healthier foods.
Don't push, but offer to go on a short walk with them. Ask if
they want to play mini-golf, or go paddle boating in the park. Try to
fit in an active excursion every weekend if they agree, and respect their decision if they don't want to go at that time. Keep offering, however, and try not to be dis- couraged. It takes time.
Offer a healthier food, but don't make it a total makeover. You may decide to add Brussels sprouts
to dinner, but use a butter sauce. It's not 100% healthy, but it's a step towards adding better foods to their diet. Also, back off if they don't want to try it. Remember that
your partner is an adult, and is allowed to make their own choices. The important part is that you make the effort to offer these extra foods and time together. Perhaps one day they will
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JANUARY 2014 37
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