disclose without judgment. I remember once that I told her I thought my birth parents were royalty from another country. She replied with, "I think my parents stole me". All kids have great imaginations, adopted kids can really run wild. Now, as an adop- tive parent, it was very important to me to make sure there are many adoptees in my daughter's lives, both children and adults. Adoptive parents, adoptees and birth moms are all capable
of figuring this stuff out on their own. However, it can be easier and smoother if you get an occasional "check in" with an adop- tion competent therapist. Here are some signs that you or your child might need some help over a hurdle:
Adoptive Parents: • Is your child preoccupied with their adoption story or do they avoid all adoption talk? • Is your child getting teased at school, or do their peers ask them about their "real" mother? • Is your child/teen struggling with their identity development? • Did you know that many adoptees feel guilty if they are told that their birth family or birth country was poor? • Does your child/teen have persistent attachment, abandon- ment and rejection issues that effect their relationships? • Did you know there are many feelings, emotions, concerns and questions that adoptees have that they do not typically share with their parents? • Is your child/teen celebrating their differences or trying to act or look just like you? • Is your child/teen afraid of abandonment and rejection? They may be afraid that you will leave them and afraid to tell you that. • Did you know that just because your child does not talk about their birth family does not mean they are not thinking and wondering about them? • Is your child/teen getting ready for big changes in their lives, like changing schools, going to college, moving? Change and separation are always triggers for rejection and abandonment.
Adoptees • Are you struggling with your decision to search for birth fam- ily? • Do you have difficulty in obtaining and maintaining inter- personal relationships? • Did you know adoptees have a much harder time determin- ing their identity than their non-adoptive peers? • Are you reuniting with birth family? It is not always what we expect and may cause serious change in our lives.
Are you as happy as you’d like to be? Are you sad, anxious, irritable? We can help!
HOPE. HEALING. TRANSFORMATION. ‘
430 Battleground Ave. Greensboro
336.337.5469
www.GuilfordCounseling.com
GUILFORD COUNSELING, PLLC
GuilfordCounseling@gmail.com
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• Did you know that it is common for adoptees to have an underlying fear of people leaving them? • Do you have unresolved issues with your birth mother? • Are you preoccupied with your adoption and things related to it?
Birth Parents • Do you feel guilty or ashamed of your decision, or the deci- sion that was made for you? • Is it overly difficult for you to say good-bye to your loved ones? • Do you struggle with your answer when someone asks you how many kids you have? • Are you reuniting with your child? • Do you feel like you are being punished for relinquishing? • Do you have a difficult time around your child's birthday? • Remember how much adoptive parents appreciate and thank you!
Getting involved in a group of peers is extremely helpful and
insightful. There is always something new to learn about yourself and adoption. Groups for kids are especially helpful in normal- izing adoption and just being with similar families. Children's groups work best if they are given an opportunity to be together and eventually they will feel confident in discussing personal adoption related concerns. There are also specific adoption re- lated activities that help all triad members identify their per- sonal, unique issues with their role in the adoption triad. Groups are powerful and can prove to be beneficial in many ways. Groups are now being formed at Guilford Counseling, PLLC. Individual and family adoption competent therapy is also avail- able.
Written by Pam Ladetto, MSW, LCSWA. Pam is an adoptee and adoptive parent. She has extensive professional and personal adoption and foster care related experience. Pam is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Associate who has been working with children and families since 1996. Pam works with all adoption triad members, couples suffering infertility, domestic violence and sexual assault survivors, as well as individuals suffering with depression and/or anxiety. Pam is happy to be working with Guilford Counseling, PLLC, which is located at 430 Battleground Avenue in Greensboro. She can be contacted at 336-337-5469 or
GuilfordCounseling@gmail.com. Please visit her website at
www.GuilfordCounseling.com for additional information. See ad on this page.
Three Treasures Tai Chi LLC
for the study & practice of the peaceable arts
10 Tai Chi and Qigong classes per week in the Winston-Salem area Workshops & retreats
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www.ThreeTreasures.org
336.659.1599
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