ADOPTION, Positively!
M
ore and more people are building their families through adoption. Many families are deciding to wait until they are older to start their families and then find out that they are unable to reproduce in the original sense. Many families are also trying IVF; some are trying it several times. Infertility is a long and sometimes exhausting process. There are donor eggs, donor sperm and surrogacy too. These are all reasons that more people are choosing adoption. Research says that over 60% of Americans have a personal connection to adoption. Some of us are members of the adoption triad (adoptee, adoptive parent or birth parent), many people have someone in their family that is adopted and most people have a friend or know someone that is adopted, has adopted, thinking of adopting or chose adoption. All members of the adoption triad have seven core issues
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that they have to deal with and manage throughout their lives. This does not mean that we have major "issues", it just means that we have some emotions, concerns and questions that non- triad members don't have to deal with. These issues give the impression of being negative, but in actuality they are just things that we need to be aware of, identify and resolve. The seven core issues are: loss, rejection, guilt and shame, grief, identity, inti- macy and relationships and control. Each member of the triad has the same issue titles, but they are perceived differently de-
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Helping you be responsible for your Health, Mind, Body & Spirit
• Hormone testing for men and women • Neurotransmitter balancing • Ream’s testing • Iridology
FREE
Want to see how I can help you become healthier? 30 minute introductory appointments are
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108 East Bessemer Avenue • Greensboro 336.456.4743
jillclarey3@gmail.com Jill’s Natural Path
jillsnatpath
www.TheNaturalPathWithJillClarey.com Natural Triad Magazine
www.LovingScents.com JUNE 2013
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pending on their role in the triad. For example: Guilt and shame can be felt as if an adoptee did something wrong and that was why their birth parents chose to “give them away” and feel ashamed of being adopted. A birth mother can feel guilty for choosing (or having someone choose for them) adoption and ashamed of themselves for doing it. An adoptive parent can feel shame in not being able to reproduce or other people may not accept their child as a “real” part of the family which results in guilt and shame. Most of the time triad members figure these things out along
the way by themselves, through relationships and trial and error. It is always helpful to find a friend that is also the same member of the triad that you are. It is always beneficial to get a different perspective from someone in the same situation. Once you have a friend(s) in the same membership, seek out other triad members. Seeing their perspective will help you along your journey. If you are an adoptive parent to young children please find friends or playmates for them that are in similar situations. It helps them to normalize adoption and it gives them a sense of security while allowing them to discuss their feelings, questions and concerns with a peer that can understand them. As an adoptee, it was so helpful to me having a friend that was also adopted. We could talk about our deepest thoughts knowing that it was okay to
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