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had a shower first – not on the first date anyway !! ;0) ● Dress Smart/Casual – not too dressed up – unless of course you want to – but you need to feel comfortable. ● Ensure you have your dates mobile number – so that if your going to be late – you can let each other know. Nothing worse than waiting for someone and thinking’ you’ve been stood up’. ● Meet in a public place – Park/Pub – but anywhere that has lots of other people around..Basic common sense. When you meet – depending how long you’ve talked or know this person – shake hands or a brief hug is fine. Whatever you are comfortable with.


How to survive AND enjoy the first date!


Think of the date as ‘making a new friend’ this takes the anxiety out of it. ● Buy drinks in rounds – yes I know guys, some of you are ‘old fashioned’ and like to buy the drinks – and if shes OK with that, then thats fine. However, I’ve also known women who ‘expect’ the guy to pay for everything. Thats not my style, but again each to their own. ● Ensure the first date is no more than 20-30 minutes – I say this as if you don’t connect then nothing worse than having to spend the whole evening with someone you just don’t hit it off with. Of course – if it turns out well – you can always ‘pretend’ to text your friend to let them know your staying longer ● A personal thing – but unless you have connected really well with the guy/ gal on line – then I would make my own way to the meeting.


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How to know if it’s worth a second date ● Simple really – do you enjoy their company? do you get on. Its basically the same as if you were meeting a new friend. Obviously as it’s a ‘date’ there would need to be some ‘connection’ some attraction. I don’t believe this needs to be that they are ‘handsome’ or ‘pretty’ but very often there is just ‘something’. I have known people who haven’t ‘connected’ on the first date and yet have gone on to marry!!


Just a few Do’s and Don’t for the first date ● Do Relax and be yourself. Try NOT to talk about your ex or how bad your life is going right now! ● Be Positive – find common things to talk about, kids, sports, life, hobbies ● Avoid using your phone unless absolutely imperative. NOTHING worse than being out with someone who is constantly texting someone else or on the phone to friends etc. Give the Person your with your FULL Attention Give them compliments….but ensure they are genuine.


A Gold rule though is to let the person know within 24 hours whether you are interested or not. ● Remember – your BOTH in the same boat – you will both be pretty nervous – so try and Relax – You will both enjoy a LOT more !!


Helen Lingard has been living in New Zealand for the last 20 years. Mother of two children, Helen is a life coach for single parents and an entrepreneur


WEBSITE: helen-lingard.com


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