ment. And dump all your WHY questions, because they put you into a mental tailspin. For example: “Why is this always happening to me?” That presupposes that it always will. There is no solution in that question, only more pain. Change it to: What can I learn from this so that it never happens again? In that moment your mind opens itself up to solutions and not more problems. Or, “What could I learn from this if I was truly commit- ted?” There are always solutions if we ask the right questions. 4. Contribute Beyond Yourself. Stop be- ing so focused on you all the time. There are people out there who need you, and you can help them even if you aren’t sure you have anything to offer. You have YOU, and that’s good enough. Give of yourself to someone who is in need. There are countless ways to do good deeds for strangers, and volunteer possibilities that will make you feel better. There are hospitals full of children strug-
gling, and Veterans hospitals full of lonely wounded soldiers, and soup kitchens, and elderly, and someone needs help…you see my point. I promise you that you will feel better about you when you make someone else smile or do a kind gesture. These 4 Ways to “Do Happiness” will
work if you work them. It’s easy if you want it to be, and it’s too hard to be bothered with if that’s what you decide. You always have a choice whether you want to admit it or not. You get to decide how you want to spend your mental energy and time. For example: I could mull over the injustice in my life, and how wrong it all is, and how could this have happened to me because I didn’t deserve it,
and how can I ever forget how they treated me, and that it’s completely unfair, and woe is me, and it’s all about me, and I am going to keep on like this every day for the rest of my life….or maybe not! By the way it’s helpful to laugh at
yourself from time to time. I do it often, and highly recommend it. What you may not understand is that the short-term pain of unhappiness is nothing compared to the long-term regret of doing nothing to change it. Particularly when you know it was just a decision that you could have easily made. So, take the easy way out. Use your
courage! You have 20 seconds of courage inside you at any moment that you can remember all day long. Use it. Raise your standards. Decide what’s acceptable and no longer part of who you are. Do the 4 Ways of Happiness and see what happens. Give it just a little time – 30 days – that’s all, and see what happens. For the next 30 days, imagine that
you like yourself and give these 4 Ways an honest effort. You will realize that you can change how you feel now, and it’s not as hard as you made it out to be. After you’ve been happy for a while, you will discover another level that comes after feeling happy. You deserve to feel great! It won’t happen by itself, and it won’t happen without you.
Jeff Forte CSIC CME is a Life Coach with Certifications in Strategic Intervention and Marriage Education. He sees clients in his Glastonbury CT office and can be reached at (860)633-8555. See ad on page 20.
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NaturalNutmeg.com 25
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