Are You Unhappy and
Don’t Know What to Do? 4 Ways to “Do Happiness”
By Jeff Forte, CSIC, CME
felt totally happy? As you remember now, were you smiling a lot, were you laughing, did you feel light inside, were your eyes sparkling? But it’s not this moment-to-moment hap- piness that eludes you is it? You can laugh at a joke or smile at someone and feel good, but that’s not enough because soon after that moment you go back to where you usually hang out emotionally. Do you feel uneasy, frustrated, sad, angry, blah, numb, or un- happy most of the time? Do you switch back and forth from sad and depressed to angry? If so, you are not alone, many people feel this way all the time and they don’t know what to do to fix it. The number one cause of unhappiness
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is when our personal expectations for life are not met. Here’s an example: If I expected to love my job, but I find that it actually stinks and the people are jerks, then I might be un- happy… Or if I expect to be in a relationship with a partner who meets my needs, and it doesn’t happen, I might be unhappy. The longer I stay in that job, or with that
partner, the more unhappy I might become. I can begin to find more things wrong with both, making me more and more unhappy until I get depressed and feel numb about it, or get so upset that I make a change. Often, when people make a change for the sake of
o what is happiness,? We know when we feel it, and we certainly know when it’s missing. When was the last time you
change, it’s only a matter of time before they go back to being unhappy. So what can you do to change it permanently?
Here’s what you need to know: 4 Ways to Do Happiness
1. Be Grateful. According to the sci-
entific research, the fastest way to happiness is gratitude. Find some things to be grateful about. Create a list and go over it in your mind at night before you go to bed, and in the morning when you wake up. Feel the gratitude. If you are not feeling it, this won’t work. What are you thankful for? What could you be grateful for? There is an unending list of things that you could be grateful for if you actually thought about it a little instead of saying, “I can’t be bothered thinking that gratitude stuff.” There are millions of things to be grate-
ful for, including the fact that you probably can see and hear, have 2 arms and 2 legs, have your original heart and liver, have a place to live, have a bathroom that works and it’s inside, and maybe you even have- someone who cares about you. You get the idea; there can be lots to be grateful for. The impact of gratitude alone raises hap- piness levels by 25%. According to more research from UC Davis, happy people live 7-9 years longer than unhappy people. You can always keep your misery as long you want later on, but you could also find time to be grateful.
2. Move Your Body. In order to experi- ence a different set of emotions you need to move your body differently and change your facial expressions. How often do you exercise? It sends endorphins throughout your body making you feel better. Put a smile on your face even when you don’t feel like it. This little habit actually begins to shift the chemicals in your brain and you can feel better if you do this often. It doesn’t have to take a huge change to feel better! It’s easy to stand tall with your chin up, or to sit upright on the edge of your seat anticipating some- thing wonderful. Anyone can do it. 3. Change Your Thoughts. Most of us
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have a bunch of negative junk that we say to ourselves over and over again throughout the day. It’s hard to be happy if you keep asking yourself, Why did this happen to me? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I snap out of it? What am I going to do with my life? Why can’t I get anything done? What am I doing wrong? Go ahead and plug in your favorite if you want. I know you have one; I have heard so many versions of this and much worse. Change your thoughts to something that’s more empowering. As soon as you catch yourself with the negative self talk, change it immediately. Be kinder to yourself. You’ve beaten yourself up enough. When you catch yourself saying some- thing negative replace it with a positive state-
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