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WABI SABI LOVE


Embracing Imperfections in Relationships by Arielle Ford


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he ancient Japanese art form of Wabi Sabi honors all things old,


weathered, worn and im- permanent by perceiving the beauty in imperfec- tions. It discovers grace in things modest, humble and unconventional. Wabi Sabi love is the


the bad and everything in- between.


We shift our


choices from “what I want,” to what is ultimately best for the relationship.


art and practice of appreci- ating the quirks and imperfec- tions in our self and our part- ner. Listening with our heart, we come to see with it, too. Discern- ing the hidden dance between partners brings emotional maturity to our relationships as we shift our focus from what’s wrong to what’s right. This new, true view deeply bonds us and is a key to everlasting love—and any harmonious relationship. Spiritual teacher David Deida


counsels, “Practicing love often means… surrendering all hold on the familiar act you call ‘me.’” By choos- ing to turn everyday conflict into com- passion, we cultivate a more loving relationship through humor, listening, intimacy and generosity, even when someone is acting out, refusing to listen or shutting down.


Acceptance and its counterpart, understanding, are crucial to achieving relationship harmony. It’s the high- est form of love and, like most things worth striving for, requires patience, commitment, personal responsibility, playfulness and practice. Imagine how great it is to feel loved all the time by a friend and partner—during the good,


12 Northern & Central New Mexico NewMexico-NaturalAwakeningsMag.com


It starts when we shift our perception and see our mate’s behavior through a gentler and kinder lens of mutual respect and light- heartedness. Research by Psychologist Sandra Murray, Ph.D., at the


University of Buffalo, reveals that donning “rose-colored glasses” and idealizing our partner leads to more happiness and satisfac- tion in a relationship, and that the hap- piest couples focus on what’s right. In what is known as the Pygmalion effect, the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform. Keeping an open heart and mind also prepares us to receive our part- ner’s best expectations and highest level of caring, even if it might seem different than what we expect. When we choose to lovingly accept each other, let go of issues and apologize for any wrongdoing, it transforms the relationship. Overall, we better appreciate the bigger picture and go from being annoyed to enjoyed! a


Bestselling author Arielle Ford is a leader in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. Her new release is Wabi Sabi Love (WabiSabiLove.com). Subscribe to a free Soulmate Secret newsletter at ArielleFord.com.


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