COMMUNITY
Jen Fitton answers reader’s problems
Dear Jen
My family has the opportunity to emigrate to start a new life and we are all really keen, but one thing is holding me back. My mother has never been easy, but I try hard and we rub along. My brothers hardly ever visit, so I’m the only one around and I’m worrying that, as she gets older, I won’t be here for her. We don’t want to miss this opportunity, but I feel really guilty.
Escapee Dear Escapee
This is an exciting opportunity for you and your family and it would be a shame to let it go by be- cause of feeling guilty about your mother.
I wonder if you have thought - see her, do you still feel four years Having a more objective view of your relationship might give you her about the opportunity, try not to feel guilty, apologetic, or fearful of her reaction. Just listen to what she has to say and stay strong so problems that may arise.
She may have plans of her own, or would she want to go with sure that she has the Internet and her regularly and have face to face conversations; and perhaps, longer on hand, your brothers
Good luck Jen
Dear Jen
I’m married to a lovely man, have two lovely children and work part-time in a job that I enjoy, but I’m never really hap- py. This is beginning to have an impact on my kids and my mar- riage, but I can’t seem to shake off the misery. Am I just spoilt?
Fed up Dear Fed up
Misery can be particularly upset- everything in life to be happy; we’re at a loss to understand why we can’t just enjoy ourselves must have a character fault. This and we start to feel guilty and
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blame ourselves for not being helpless, and then beat ourselves - have better. You can tune into this when you hear yourself saying “I should be happy” or “I ought to be grateful.” This grumbling at ourselves perpetuates our misery and we go round and round in a despairing circle. Your feelings are genuine and Therapy would give you a chance - jective and non-judgemental, and who would be able to help you sounds as if you may have some unresolved baggage that needs to see the light of day, and this would help you to better under- stand yourself and your feelings. How we feel is not just about what we have or don’t have, but with our problems, and how we learn more effective ways of living our lives; and by also learning a bit more about ourselves, we can have a better understanding and feel more in control. By voicing
All the best Jen
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