18 resident in biz


Local busi ness es find “Res i dent In Busi ness” an ef fec tive way to ad ver tise. By tell ing the com mu ni ty about yourself, you will at tract loy al cus tom ers. Res i dents prefer to shop and ob tain ser vic es in a friend ly en vi ron ment. Add your smile to the Resident in Business. 860.599.1221.


Naturopathic Physician Bryan Golden


Since 2008, Dr. Groves has dedicated her practice in Groton to rapid relief of acute chronic illnesses. Her education and clinical training as a Naturopathic physician has created a foundation for the challenging medical cases she treats on a daily basis. She now believes that she is facing a much greater challenge. The greater challenge is the rapid weight gain of our society and increased health risks that can follow. “Many of us are working harder, becoming more easily stressed, and either overeating or not eating healthy foods. To address this, Dr. Groves has decided to create a series of four FREE health and nutrition seminars. The seminars will start February 15, 2011 and continue for an additional three weeks, Tuesday nights at 6:00 pm If you are not satisfied with your current weight and are serious about losing those additional pounds and getting healthier all at the same time, then call and sign up for the seminar series beginning on the 15th. Spring is rapidly approaching, join us in learning a healthy way to jump start your metabolism and start on the road to wellness. Seating is limited on a first come basis for the first twelve callers - so reserve your seat today!


Dr. Jonné Groves CALL NOW TO SIGN UP OR


FOR A PRIVATE CONSULTATION OR EVALUATION


CALL TODAY 860.448.2225 565 Long Hill Road (Rt. 1) • Groton


Everyone Reads the Resident! Neil Rosenthal Note: This is the first of a two-part series I www.theresident.com


t has been almost 17 years since my house burned to the ground, destroying everything I owned. The trauma, so vivid when it occurred - and it remained vivid for years - has faded into a more distant memory. Whatever I lost has been replaced - and I’ve made peace with the loss of those things that couldn’t be replaced. I lost having a familiar world that I had put so much of myself into. I lost having favorite clothes, or comfortable well-broken in shoes. I lost my father’s sport coats that I acquired when he died. I lost all the mementos and keep- sakes from my childhood. And photos - I lost lot’s of photos. Somehow all of that I have accepted and am no longer grieving over.


This got me thinking about all the other losses, accidents, traumas and outright bummers that I have had to deal with through the years: losing several different intimate relationships


H


ave you ever been preoccu- pied, and at times consumed, with what ifs? Was your


answer yes? Then you have a lot of company. It is all too common to worry about what may happen in the future or what would have happened in the past if we make different decisions. There is a significant difference between preparation and worry. Worry is a waste of time and energy that yields no positive results. Preparation, on the other hand, is a proactive strategy for what lies ahead. Your mind is capable of conjuring up a limitless list of what ifs. In the past, there are many things you would do differently if you only had the oppor- tunity to do so. It’s easy to get caught up lamenting how different your life would be today if you had made better, or different, choices yesterday. “What if you had done this?” or “What if I hadn’t done that?” are ques- tions you have probably asked yourself


Dr. Jonné Groves


February 2 ~ 15, 2011 the Resident 860.599.1221 www.theresident.com


Worrying About What Ifs residentLifestyles


at one point or another. As I’m sure you know, hindsight is always 20/20. But torturing yourself over past actions is completely useless. The past is over. It can’t be changed. The value of the past is what you can learn from it. Regardless of what has happened to you, there is a lesson that can be of value in avoiding the same mistakes next time. Any energy spent on worrying about what you should have done is energy you don’t have for constructive endeavors. Those who hang on to their past pollute their future. Let the past go and move forward. Concentrate your efforts on today and being where you want to be tomorrow. Besides the what ifs of the past,


there are the what ifs concerning the future. It’s normal to wonder about what tomorrow has in store. It’s your behavior in the present which will influ- ence your future. Any time you spend speculating about what if this or that happens is squandered.


Often the things people worry most about are those issues they have no con- trol over. The economy, weather, aging, and the actions of others, are just some of the events that fuel what if scenarios. If you allow yourself to be distracted


residentIntimacy Loss and Rebirth


with women I dearly loved, losing vital people in my life to death, getting fired from a job, badly breaking my leg (twice - skiing), and losing a sizable chunk of my savings when the markets recently got battered. Sadly, the list continues: two Januarys ago, a large dog somehow got into my fenced in mountain backyard and was harassing my 11-month-old Sheltie puppy named Pirate. I ran outside and charged the dog - only to witness the animal grabbing my puppy and leaping 40 feet away into a tree. It was only then that I realized


that it wasn’t a dog, it was a lion - a mountain lion. Only afterwards did I make the connection that I had actually charged a lion. The loss of Pirate was gut-wrenching. I was torn apart for months after that. We probably all know people who never recovered from a loss, an injury, a rejection or a setback. It takes enormous inner strength, personal resolve, gump- tion and a belief in ourselves to rise from the ashes - in my case, literally. So why do some people seem to never recover, while others not only recover, but find a way to thrive and even grow from the adversity they faced? I have largely recovered from my various traumas, tragedies and bum- mers. I have rebuilt my mountain home and made it into a place that expresses


my spirit and nurtures my soul. My broken leg is healed, and I’m even thinking about getting back on skis once again. (Or maybe I’ll pass on that, I haven’t quite decided.) I have adopted a new Sheltie puppy named Dreamer. I figure this is my one and only life, and I had better make the very most of it while I can so I won’t be loaded with regrets later on. I have a spirit that just doesn’t want to give up - or give in - to cynicism, despair, negativity, hopeless- ness or helplessness.


But clearly a fair number of people never recover from a trauma or a setback. They don’t know how to start over or how to make peace with radically changed circumstances. This year we’ve all gone through setbacks or disappointments. What are the losses you faced this year? How have you had to redefine yourself in one way or another? What events, people, changed circumstances, setbacks or losses do you need to make peace with? I will address rebirth - of recreating


ourselves - in the next column. Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the Denver and Boulder, CO areas, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships. He can be reached at 303.758.8777. To post your comments, visit


www.theresident.com


by circumstances beyond your control, you do more than waste your time, you detract from those things you do have influence over. You have control over how you think, what you think about, your own actions, and how you react to circumstances you encounter. Rather than worrying about


tomorrow, decide what you need to do in order to make progress towards your goals today.


Successful people


don’t spend their energy worrying; they make decisions and keep their forward momentum.


Although life has surprises, most of what people worry about never comes to pass. Should something occur that you didn’t expect, plan for, or want, don’t stress with what ifs. The only thing to concentrate on is what should you do next. NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to


Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com.


© Bryan Golden. To post your comments, visit www.theresident.com


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