Harold & Ethel. Harold: I went down to that fancy Burtons menswear shop this afternoon, and asked the man if he had anything to fit me “Off the peg.”


Ethel: What did he give you? …………….Harold: A tie. Ethel: Was it alright ? …………..Harold: No, it was really tight.


On the subject of skin care;


James Anderson, who played a tremendous part in the Aussies downfall in the recent ashes series, revealed in a recent interview, “I always use a daily moisturiser.” It’s one of the great tragedies that Fred Trueman is no longer on Test Match Special, because Jonathan Agnew asking Fred what type of moisturiser he used in his day could have produced one of sport’s truly great radio moments. And, after the recent test series, we can reveal that the absolute height of optimism is an Australian cricketer applying sun screen before going out to bat.


The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.


Schools Drawing Competition. The Credit Crunch.


We call it “debt”, others call it “credit”, committee men’s wives call it “on Account.” Yeah, well I’m in debt on account of not being able to pay my credit.


Go and get measured for a suit, say for £70, because you don’t care what you pay when it’s debt. They might want £5 a week. Don’t pay. Wait till you get a summons from the County Court - £1 a month. “The Little waster,” Bobby Thompson.


Liverpool Airport was named after it’s famous son John Lennon, and was given the affectionate slogan “Above us only sky.” They’ve just put another slogan up by the Easyjet luggage carousel that says, ”Imagine no possessions.”


A huge thank you to everyone who voted for the children who drew the adverts in last months little competition. Congratulations to everyone who took part. Some of the adverts were brilliant and one of the originals has been framed and is on display in the shop. Jack Jones, Padiham. The word on the street is that Sotherby’s Nd the Art world are very nervous. The response has been incredible with over 50 votes coming in on one day alone. We can announce the winners as follows:


St James’s School Clitheroe.


Joel Price. CGM Vehicle Services St Bartholemews Great Harwood.


Leon Howarth. Benny Charlesworth. West End Primary. Oswaldtwistle.


Kacey Garbett. Keep Your PC Happy. Padiham Green. Padiham.


William McDonald. Padiham Windows.


We will be presenting the winners with their prizes before the end of the month along with our donations to the classes who were involved.


3.


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