FEATURES by Claudia Cunningham
Claudia Cunningham (Montana) has used her uniquely powerful combination of twelve-step principles and vampire lore to empower others for nearly a decade. Her “Ask the Slayer” column was a regular feature in Women’s Online Magazine. Visit her web site: www.
practicalvampireslayer.com.
Vampires are fashion now, and believe in them or not, whatever your opinion, they affect us. We know the sto- ries. But don’t be distracted by Hollywood’s version or imaginary literary figures because vampires are a real and present danger to every one of us.
Claudia Cunningham presents us with a surprisingly effective strategy for dealing with freeloading friends, suffocating spouses, husbands, lovers, harmful habits, and other “vampires” who bleed dry your heart, mind, and spirit. Based on spiritual principles that Cunningham used to overcome dependency, Biting Back gives you back your power toe
xrie TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AND BELIEFS. ocs
Yes, mythically, a vampire “can’t die,” and must suck the blood of living mortals. In real life, we encounter alle- gorical vampires looking for easy targets. When my cli- ents call with problem relationships, sometimes they are suffering from what I call a “psychic vampire,” you know, those energy drainers. Sometimes the “vampire” is rep- resented by our self-defeating behaviors and beliefs.
New to me was this concept rarely explored: As we know from traditional stories, vampires don’t always kill their prey - they can make their victims into vampires, too. What this means is that they are not only unable to produce their own blood, needing ours; and they con- taminate us whenever we have contact with them.
What can you do? The author lists nine rules for biting back:
“Rule #1 - A vampire can’t just walk into your house and start sucking your blood. First, it has to be invited.
Rule#2 - A vampire does not need an invitation every time to cross your threshold. One invitation grants a lifetime pass.
Rule#3 - Every host has the option to revoke an invita- tion extended to a vampire, but you have to know the rules if you want to do it right.
Rule#4 – The host must claim responsibility for the invita- tions before they can reclaim their power to revoke them.
Rule#5 - Our invitation revocations must above all be clear. Before we can issue a revocation telling our vam- pires what we want, we have to know exactly what that is ourselves.
Rule#6 - All vampires have insatiable appetites that can never be satisfied (so we are completely drained trying in vain to satisfy them).
Rule#7 - Never look into a vampire’s eyes. Rule#8 - A vampire cannot see its own reflection a mirror.
14 Biting Back Review by Marie-Claire Wilson
Rule#9 – As for hosts who never revoke their invitations, they become vampires, too.”
In the section “SLAYING THE VAMPIRE,” the author writes: “There are, without a doubt, some vampires that require STRONGER EVICTION MEASURES than our revocation alone. Whereas revoking an invitation is an appropriate solution to a vampire (or problematic rela- tionship with someone) whose behavior toward us is, in part, a result of the way we’ve taught them (or INVITED them) to treat us, slaying a vampire requires a lifetime commitment to keeping them OUT OF OUR LIVES AND USUALLY INVOLVES CHANGING OUR OWN LIVES IN WAYS TO ENSURE THAT THE VAMPIRE DOES NOT RETURN. If you think you’re hosting a vampire that might require slaying, you can ask yourself these questions:
- Is this a vampire that comes first in my life, ahead of everyone I truly love? Is it an addiction (or like an addic- tion) that must be fed before anything else, even though I wish that my loved ones came first?
- Have I ever risked my life to keep this vampire fed? If this is a violent or controlling person who’s the vam- pire, have I ever been in physical danger or hospitalized because of them? If it’s an addiction,have I ever been in an accident or hospitalized because of it? Have I risked my safety or the safety of others to make sure that I got my addiction needs met?
- Is this a vampire that seems like no big deal, but because I’ve attempted to revoke my invitation to them so many times now without effect, it is starting to become a big deal?
If your answer to any of these questions was yes, slay- ing your vampire is an option for you to seriously con- sider.”
The vampire must forever chase an unappeasable hunger by transferring it to the victim. The victim becomes self- destructive, struggling futilely to accede to the impos- sible demands. Initially, it may seem innocent to have fun with a vampire, but that’s a good way to get taken by your own game. The vampire will win if you don’t have an arsenal of protection as outlined in this book.
Don’t let yourself be emotionally manipulated. When you say no and mean it, they leave. Vampires don’t attack emotionally mature people. Don’t let self- destructive behaviors become your vampires.If you’ve ever wanted to liberate yourself, then I recommend that you read this very practical book.
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k n apit et cl: 1 Oracle 20/20 October 2010
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