F e a t u r e s
his expressions and his ability to communicate in his own way. We are dealing with a smart wee man here, of that I am sure. Mick took his own children upstairs for a while to give Peter a little one on one time with us. Jane stood back just out of sight from Peter, and Julie and I continued to play with him at the table. I can only commend both Jane and Mick as foster carers, they are one hundred percent committed to finding Peter the right match and doing everything in their power to facilitate that with us.
Whilst Peter was aware that Jane was not in the room, he was more than comfortable with the attention that he was getting from Julie and me. There was ‘high fives’ and ‘low fives’ from Peter, claps and smiling. I could not have been happier. We also started to play with wooden building blocks, he has a good over arm action and will probably become a very good cricketer although windows may suffer if those wooden blocks make contact with them.
Again and again, we would pick up bricks and place them on one another and Peter would do the same. He then picked up a brick and placed it in my hand, closing my fingers around it with his little hand and he continued to do this with the other brick too. It was wonderful. I felt privileged to have gained enough trust in this short space of time to have Peter place his hand on mine.
Annika Glenhill and her three adopted daughters
When it was time to leave, I think Peter knew that we would be back again. He was sitting on Jane’s lap and as Julie went to get up he stretched out his arms for a hug. I was speechless. I watched him grab her round the neck and snuggle in to her just like it was a routine that he had done a hundred times, followed by a kiss. I watched Julie and knew that all that heartache, all those reflections and boxes of tissues that we had contended with throughout this adoption process were, for that moment worth it, a moment that has been captured in time and placed firmly in my memories.
Julie then passed Peter to Mick and Peter looked at me and did the same, his arm outstretched waiting for a hug. I took him and could have held him forever. Even more surprising was the kiss that followed this. Meeting Peter could not have gone any smoother and been any more successful. Both Jane and Mick were surprised at Peter’s actions; it was not the ending to this encounter that anyone in that room had expected.
Have I said that since meeting Peter my mouth hurts from the constant grinning that
www.raf-ff.org.uk
has been going on? The feelings that I have had since meeting him are indescribable, it has put life into the pictures of him and has
made us both complete. An amazing feat from just an hour’s visit. I cannot wait until I see him again.
Persuading a panel of social workers that you can be a loving parent to an adopted child while you are deployed can be bit of a challenge. It was to help with concerns like this that SSAFA Forces Help started its own adoption agency almost 50 years ago.
“SSAFA realised that the adoption system can fail to consider the special circumstances of military families”, says the Adoption Manager, Lesley-Ann Doughty, “The realities of Service life and even the ethics of a military career can be misunderstood. Some of the issues are about practical things such as military families moving around, but occasionally we have to challenge people who hold negative views of our Armed Forces.
“Those from outside the military may not know of the additional support that Service families receive and the excellent facilities that are available. Service families have a lot to offer that a local authority is looking for in prospective parents.”
Adopting a child is a rewarding, though sometimes challenging, experience. With criminal records checks, medical reports, visits from social workers and training, the process normally takes over a year. With the children having already lost one family, it is vital to ensure they are compatible with their new parents.
So far SSAFA have been involved in arranging for almost a hundred and twenty five children to find loving families.
To find out more go to
www.ssafa.org.uk/adoption Summer 2010 13
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