RESOURCES horoscopesby vera divine
ARIES March 21 – April 20
Ever wonder where the phrase “balls to the wall” came from? Well allow your mind to escape the gutter for a moment and reflect on what you re- ally value in life. If you can meet those contemplations with a full force of enthusiasm and energy, then you’re ready to take on a personal challenge around the 7th. Just maintain your cool and keep your decision-making aimed at positivity. You’ll have the chance to chill and review your game plan on the 20th. Look forward to being a great symbol of influence by the end of the month and keep up a bubbly flirtatious vibe. Fellow Aries Zach Braff must have gotten his flirt on in order to have been cast in The
Broken Hearts Club.
TAURUS April 21 – May 21
A wise old hag once said, “Don’t look a gift horse
in the mouth…and don’t get too close to the other end either!” Well at the root of this perverted proverb is a wise word or two. If things are going your way without explanation, don’t question them; enjoy it! You deserve this streak of fortune so don’t spoil it with paranoia. Even in matters of romance, the last week will see them flocking to you as though you
were Audrey Hepburn!
GEMINI May 22 – June 21
Getting your hands dirty has never been this good
for you. Projects that spark creative jolts are a major turn-on for your spirit right now. Whatever it is you put into motion now will become a great reminder of hap- piness later on. Around the 20th, you might encounter some sparks of adversity, but try not to zap them away with more negativity. Fellow Gemini Clint Eastwood now knows better than to impulsively whip out a gun from under his cowboy poncho—especially if that’s all he’s wearing.
CANCER June 22 – July 23
For people who spend so much time within the
security zone of their outer shells, Cancerians sure know how to throw caution out the window when they sense they can get away with it. But that’s fine, as long as self-respect doesn’t get thrown out too. By the 19th, a colleague’s reaction to your behavior will unease you. Remember that he or she is simply threatened by a potential instability and only seeks reassurance. Approach the confrontation with plenty of communication. Of course, some things are harder to explain than others, as the hyper-caffeinated Tom Cruise has come to realize.
LEO July 24 – August 23
Looking forward to that relaxing down time at
the end of the day? Yeah, well…we all are, honey. But before you hang up your wig and kick off your high-heels, you’ve got to work! Yes, you’ve been at it for a while already, but a couple of things need that extra oomph that only you can accomplish with your
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RAGE monthly | APRIL 2010
signature work ethic. After you’re personally satisfied with your accomplishments, treat yourself to a nice little end-of-the-workday indulgence. Don’t let stress turn you gray prematurely. Halle Berry may be able to rock white hair with style, but unless you can control the weather I’d go with another look.
VIRGO August 24 – September 23
You’ve been contemplating it for days, dialing the number but not pressing “send,” trying to think of a better reason to call. Trust me, my voluptuous virgin. There’s no better reason to reach out than to offer your friendly company. You’re really not that bad to be around. Just let go of your angsty social graces and enjoy a spur-of-the-moment lunch with the person you’ve been missing. You’re might even be in good form to make a little romantic progress around the 28th. Now that Cameron Diaz has blossomed into a full-fledged cougar, she has no time to waste on silly reluctance.
LIBRA September 24 – October 23
Hold your horses, Libra! Be careful not to overin-
dulge at the wrong time! I’m all about the excess, but you’ve got to at least pretend to be classy about it! Someone could be watching as you stuff that slice of chocolate cake into your purse! When pandering to one’s own primal desires, good timing is as impera- tive as what you do to get rid of the evidence! Your craftiness will pay off once you’re basking in private luxury. But keep an open ear for friends who feel neglected. Catherine Zeta Jones may be married with children, but fans share just as much weight on this Libra’s priority scale.
SCORPIO October 24 – November 22
Always up for a demonstration of your abilities,
there’s no one more quick to the mat than you. If there’s a power struggle, you want in. If there’s a leadership position up for grabs, you’re going to claw your way up to it. Just be sure you know what you’re up against! You may have to face an equal opponent around the 16th. Your best bet is to flaunt your aptitude for art and versatility. Don’t be afraid to try
on colors that seem a little wild. Famke Janssen had to wear some obscenely red wigs in order to become Jean Grey in the X-men series.
SAGITTARIUS November 23 – December 22
Whoever said “cheaters never win” obviously got
caught! But it is a good concept to consider. How much do you want to win? Bad enough to deal with lies, stress and a sinister plot? Lies, after all, must be cov- ered with more lies. Instead, keep it simple and basic. Start the month off with truths in every part of your life and keep them up! You’ll find that they’re much easier to maintain than deceit. By the 20th, you should have a habitual pattern of honesty forming. Don’t confuse honesty with oral incontinence, however. Not every fact needs to be broadcasted, as Scarlett Johansson has mastered the art of verbal discretion.
CAPRICORN December 23 – January 20
Don’t underestimate the power of a good mood. It
can make a stranger’s day, it can keep someone from being pushed over the edge…it can even save a shifting relationship! …or at least prolong its death! The point is, your perspective can either debilitate you or empower you to make your life what you want it to be. Plan your future carefully on the 17th—these plans could blossom soon, if you let them. One has to wonder what mood Mel Gibson was in when he came up with the idea to rock the world with his “pas- sionate” movie.
AQUARIUS January 21 – February 19
Are you tired of putting on a fake smile for people
who don’t even notice? Well it’s probably because your true emotions show through it! Don’t blame it on your makeup! This is coming from inside! If you’re not even trying to feel the sensations that prompt a smile in the first place, how do you expect to convince everybody that it’s real? I know, sometimes we just want to be asked if we’re okay. But for you, that won’t happen until the third week! So until then, we’ll have to spark up some inner magic and self-motivate! It’s said that no one can make you feel anything but yourself. If that’s true, Nick Carter is doing one hell of a job of making himself feel sexy again!
PISCES February 20 – March 20
It never rains, but it pours—and always on the day
we decide to visit a stylist! No need to whine yet, pret- ty Pisces. There’s a lot of beneficial communication coming your way at the start of the month. During week two, balance will be what gets you through the rainy phase. Counteract the inevitable downpour of stress with a warm cup of relaxation. Make sure you’re thoroughly rested by month’s end, even if you feel the urge to shake-shake-shake. Harry Belafonte knew when to take a break-break-break, señora!
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