A-LISTS it’s a girl thing
How to Talk to a Gay Conservative...
BECAUSE YOU TOTALLY SHOULD
by henrietta henry
“Should all of us lefty gays get out the vegetables rotting away in our refrigerator crisper drawer and run the conservative gays out of town? I don’t think so.”
Division within the U.S. is as old as the country itself. It’s nothing new. Really, I’d
say Americans are more divided today than they’ve ever been, considering the massive number of people from all walks of life who call the U.S.A. their home. Gays, are of course, one of these groups that are as divided and complex as any other. Division for us, though, is in some ways more drastic. If we are only 10 percent of the population we should try to stick together. Or should we? Are we always, gay first? Maybe…maybe not. Within the realm of division and complicated (and often contradictory) values
and beliefs that drive each group, my mind wanders to the conservative gays, and their place within (and out of) the gay community. As an eco-socialist, queer, anti-racist, pro-choice, agnostic, anti-war, questioner of capitalism, globalization, and even the monetary system kind of a person, I’m about as radically left as they come. My identity encompasses all of these things and it’s difficult for me to place more importance on any of these areas. And when I think of the conservative gays (interestingly I even place conservative before gay when I refer to them) I have to assume that they feel the same way that I do about their values and beliefs. I have respect for them, but why do I still cringe when I envision the anti-choice lesbian or the pro-war gay male in the military? Or when my nerves really rattle thinking about conservative gays who “don’t believe in” global climate change? Maybe it’s because I feel that as people who are part of a minority group, we should always be hyper aware of injustice and classism and racism and all of the other “isms” and absurd decision-making that happens within the political arena that affects such a large number of us negatively. Maybe I feel like gay people have some sort of obligation to view the world through a critical lens. We’re vulnerable to some de- gree with so many people out there who don’t take our lives seriously and don’t believe we should have rights equal to straight people. Or who don’t believe we should be affectionate with our partners in public, and those who believe that we’re going to a very bad place when we die because of who we love, or who we
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fool around with in bed, or who we have the hots for secretly. And believe me, those people are out there. We’d all like to believe that society has come so far and evolved so highly, but that’s a big lie. No gay person should believe it. That’s like telling any person of color that there’s no racism left in the world. But I digress...back to the conservative gay. In some ways I’m not sure what to
think. I want to ask the obvious questions like, “Really, you’d vote a president into office who doesn’t support equality rights for gays? You’d vote for a Congress representative or a Senator who doesn’t believe in gays being out in the military?” Maybe it’s purely a fiscal decision for the conservative gay. Maybe they just don’t want to be taxed a lot, and they envision their money being spent on “undeserv- ing” people through social services, even though the majority of the national budget is spent on the military. Maybe they’re Christian first, and want someone in office who represents their personal beliefs and don’t support separation of church and state. In the end it seems that the conservative gay is just as compli- cated as any other person, though, but just because they are…does it mean they should be dismissed entirely from the community? Should all of us lefty gays get out the vegetables rotting away in our refrigerator crisper drawer and run the conservative gays out of town? I don’t think so. Because then how would we be any different than the people
who want to do that to us? And where is the rulebook that says just because you’re gay you have to be leftist too? Maybe it makes more sense to those of us who already are left leaning, but it’s not up to us. I suppose what is up to all of us (conservative gays included) is to try and find common ground within our own community, and maybe set an example for all those clowns (and some public servants) in Washington who can’t seem to agree on anything anymore. And hopefully we reach that common ground without any rotten vegetables.
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