daughter, Hayley, is the nation’s top recruit this year, has spent nearly a decade in the trenches following her daughter from club to high school to USA Volleyball events. Sonya is a firm believer in positive, team-centered questions that keep everyone engaged, regardless of role. “I’ve seen a lot of parents quietly hurting on the sidelines when a
coach’s choices don’t make sense to them,” she says. “Silently stewing about playing time can be lonely, self-defeating and, at times, divisive to the team dynamic. Each situation is unique, but I do believe that it’s appropriate for players to ask questions about how they can contribute to the team, support the team and make the team better, as well as request feedback and tangible ways to engage in the cause. Being positive and proactive with the coach and team by choosing to live out a team-first mentality is one very real way to be a team leader. The reserve players who embrace their role, however disappointing it may be, can often have a deeper impact on the team in the long run than any starter.”
A few thoughts from me about empathy
It’s impossible to write this article without making it seem as though a few simple tips will make everything sweetness and light. It’s obviously trickier than that, which is why true empathy in both directions – parents and players for coaches, as well as coaches for parents and players – is so important.
I hope coaches don’t use this article to convince parents and players to “deal with it.” And I wouldn’t want a parent or player storming into a coach’s office armed with a soundbite above that “proves” the coach is doing it wrong. True empathy is about understanding where others are coming from and where teams can go together when each role is treated as essential to success. That’s the work part of teamwork.
THE COMMUNICATOR Christy Johnson-Lynch was big on communication with the article’s author while she played at Iowa State. (Photo: Iowa State)
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