true empathy, everyone can feel like a valuable – and valued – con- tributor.
Everyone has a role (That includes you, Mom)
Pursuing a team sport requires players to embrace team dynamics. But as a culture, we’re all about the highlight reel and not enough about the countless hours in the practice gym. Everything is about starting and starring. We obsess over it. We strive for it. We praise and reward it. We even sue coaches who don’t give our children enough of it. We forget that PT is just the public, fl ashy manifestation of a
specifi c role on a team. When we put playing time on a pedestal, we undermine the team and its goals by devaluing the other roles necessary to success. And that’s a bad choice we’re consciously or subconsciously making that doesn’t help the team. It doesn’t have to be that way. Why not reframe the conversation in a way that helps everyone say, “Playing time, schmaying time?” Why not focus on how the roles of starters, non-starters, coaches and parents can mesh to create positive, competitive experiences? Let’s hear how people in each of these roles maintain that mindset.
STARTER
Worry more about your teammates than your stat line Hard-working reserves don’t necessarily get glory or validation,
and that’s diffi cult, especially when starters make the story about their success instead of the team’s success. Rather than fi xating on her stat line, Anna Moss, a high school senior who plays middle blocker for the 18 Blue team at Triangle Volleyball Club (Morrisville, N.C.), embraces a team-fi rst attitude.
“Each player has their own way of contributing to the success of the team,” Moss says. “But realizing that can be hard, especially because different roles come with different amounts of playing time. Success comes from embracing that reality and completing a role with maximum effort. Selfl essness is arguably the best characteristic a starter can have while playing a team sport. With a team-fi rst attitude, great things will happen.”
Everything is a gift. Act like it
You’re not entitled to your starting spot. Your coach has placed you in that role because he or she thinks it gives your team the best opportunity to succeed. Those who are placed in reserve roles are there for the same reason: to help the team succeed. Acting entitled prioritizes playing time over team success, elevates your role above those of non-starting teammates and takes the focus off team goals. It’s better to embrace the appreciative approach adopted by Jennifer Hamson, an AVCA All-American opposite who led Brigham Young University to the NCAA Division 1 championship match in 2014 and also played basketball for the Cougars.
“Whether they are on the court or not, everyone gives off a vibe,” Hamson says. “I always try to make my vibe positive and team-fo- cused by listening to and acknowledging my teammates when they offer help or advice and by cheering for my teammates when they do well. I try to fi nd ways to show my appreciation to my teammates on and off the court. It’s about the team. One of the best feelings is when you win together and get to celebrate together.”
RESERVE PLAYER
Remove the word “fair” from your vocabulary For four years, Eric Wiles, a high school senior who plays for
Coastal Volleyball Club in Virginia, has opted to be a reserve on the
GREAT VIBE: Brigham Young University’s Jennifer Hamson, an AVCA All-American, says she can feel the vibe of all teammates whether they are on the fl oor or not. (Photo: BYU).
fi rst team rather than a starter on the second. Why is he okay with little to no court time? The Marymount University-bound senior doesn’t see playing time as a fairness game. He wants to compete at the highest level possible. He wants his team to win. He wants to push himself. He recognizes that his role and playing time have nothing to do with fairness and everything to do with what the coach determines the team needs to win.
“The mindset I always have is to do what’s best for the team, even
if it’s not exactly what I want to be doing,” he says. “Volleyball is a team sport, not an individual one. If you can’t do what’s best for the team, you aren’t giving it your all. Playing time isn’t as important as what you have to contribute to the team. I get to push the starters in practice, making all of us better players. I have to be ready to go into the game at any time – and for most positions – and be able to play at my peak. My role on the top team is too valuable to leave. Knowing that keeps me motivated to stay on the team and be part of our suc- cessful seasons.”
Enjoy anything good that happens without caring who gets the credit
Reid Dominguez just fi nished his freshman season as a serving sub for UC Irvine. Is it Dominguez’s dream role? Not by any stretch of the imagination. But that doesn’t leave him sour. He’s fi red up to be on the team. He knows that he’s part of something bigger than himself. He relishes the achievements along the way, even if his main contribution is a high fi ve after Set 1. He navigates his role with poise and drive because he genuinely enjoys the opportunity to play, the journey to improve and the success of the team. “It’s not about the individual accolades or awards that one may garner during a career,” he says. “It would be easy to be mad about not playing or not being a starter, but this is a team sport. It’s important to enjoy everything because you are a team and all have a
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