How to win at office parties
The plans were laid months ago and excitement has been building ever since. Dozens of shopping expeditions have resulted in perfect outfits, mistletoe has been pinned up and crates of booze wait ominously beside the spare printer paper.
It’s the office Christmas party. But tread very, very carefully, it might seem that this is the season of goodwill and mince pies, but disaster is only a spilt egg nog away. Here are some dos and don’ts to help you through
to New Year without getting tangled in the tinsel or spiked by the holly.
Do keep perspective on what to wear. Don’t get in a fankle about it because everyone else has shelled out on an expensive new frock (with matching shoes and bag). If you can’t afford one, don’t worry because no one really notices what anyone else as on. Yes, really. You could resurface last year’s and the chances are no one will remember. Don’t forget who’s the boss. To some extent the rule are relaxed, but not completely abandoned altogether. It might seem like you’re seeing a whole new – and very human – side of the Big Cheese, but, chances are, it’s a covering as thin as the mozzarella on a crispy pizza.
Moderation is your friend. While your company might expect 100 per cent commitment in many things, this must not extend to consuming all the available alcohol. The potential for, at best, embarrassing and, at worst, career-ending episodes
56 | Clyde Life – September/October 2013
increases with every single one of the special festive cocktails you guzzle. Your Santa’s special martini isn’t so sophisticated when you can’t actually stand up. Honesty is a really bad idea. Just because the chap from head office is slightly sizzled and you’ve just done a hilarious Gangnam Style dance together, it doesn’t mean you should tell him what you really think of the company’s international marketing policies or your line manager. If these things are important enough to get off your chest – do it at 10am on a Monday morning. Romance is a mug’s game. OK, we all know someone who locked lips with their soul mate (that chap from accounts) during the Christmas do and they’re now happily married and living the dream, but mostly it’s a huge mistake. If you haven’t managed to get it on with the cutie from the upstairs office before now, then it’s unlikely to happen while his boss is watching. Be particularly cautious if the object of your desire is either much higher or much lower up the pecking order than you. Avoid a big reveal. This is not the time to show a hitherto hidden side to your personality. There are merits to having a party piece or a memorable conversational gambit, but please consider the effect. Keep the skills you learned in that bar in Bangkok to yourself, don’t share your plans to pack it all in and live in a commune and it’s probably best to keep your teenage experiments quiet too, even if you didn’t inhale. And relax. Well done, you made it… and there’s only 365 days til the next one.
@clydelifemag
By Ellen Arnison
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