When the Bride gets the Contract Wrong


You’ve been there, right? You sit your bride down and explain your services including what she gets and what she needs to pay. Weeks later you’re told, I never heard about that or I don’t want to pay that. Doh, so frustrating.


What can you do as the Thought Leader and wedding professional to ensure that your bride understands what’s up and you get what you need? Here’s a thought.


Brides aren’t necessarily stupid or difficult, but they do need to be told things multiple times to get it. Yes, some might be looking to ‘get over’ on you by playing dumb but most are not.


Look at it this way, for you this is old hat. You can recite your terms in your sleep. For your BRIDE, it’s a confusing, overwhelming rush of new information, quick decisions with serious consequences and a desire not to embarrass herself by making a mistake. She probably didn’t understand during the conversation when you were explaining the details but didn’t want to ask again.


Then her selective memory took over and supplied the details. Which caused an issue for you.


The Rule of 3


Your contract doesn’t have to be very long, and frankly, you can’t draft for every issue that might arise. As an attorney, I know that’s impossible. What you can do is be transparent and carefully discuss the terms like payment where you think brides are most likely to get confused.


You can use the THREE rule to limit misunderstanding.


Science says humans can’t hold more than 7 ideas at a time. So make it easy on yourself (and your bride) by reducing the info flow to three ideas at a time. Make these the three things she must know about whatever the topic is. You can always add more later.


Try this language on for size:


Here are the three things you need to know right now about xxx so things go smoothly with your wedding. I’m mentioning this because often this is the part where couples have questions or issues later. And, we don’t want that for you.


WedBiz Journal


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PositivelyWed’s Dina Eisenberg


Then share the points and discuss. Finish by repeating the 3 things and asking for questions. You might say something like:


You know, I’ve been in this biz for years and the only dumb questions are the ones brides DON’T ask. Is there anything- big or small- you’re wondering about?


Chunking down details into three works as a delivery tool, and it also works when you’re gathering information from your bride, too.


Brides get emotional. Emotional people often start in the middle of the story, leaving you to figure out the details or intuit what she wants. No fun at all. Try this language to see if you can get to the bottom of things:


What are the three essential things I need to know about xxx right now.


You demonstrate that you are there for her and responsive without spiraling into a long, unproductive conversation. The words- essential and right now- helps your bride refocus her attention and share what’s most necessary. (This works with kids, too)


Give this a try and report back, will ya? What other conversations do brides misunderstand?


Dina Eisenberg, Esq, Your Contract Mensch, teaches the essentials of contracts, negotiation and conflict management for wedding entrepreneurs at PositivelyWed.com.


NAWP Connect 2011


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