HYDRONICS | YOUR BUSINESS | CONTINUED FROM PAGE 32
no one bids again, whoever placed the last bid wins. If someone does bid, the countdown starts over. They showed a slick pair of Oakley sunglasses that sold for 12 cents. There was an iPad that sold for $1.31, and an Xbox 360 that sold for 97 cents. Oh my goodness, this site’s for me! So, armed with my 60 bids, I started hunting for things to buy. Jim told me to start small, to look for the
“beginner’s auctions.” “Those will help you learn how it works. If you’re not
careful, you’ll run out of bids and have to buy more,” he said cryptically. Not to worry, James my boy. You’re dealing with one
savvy hombre. I’ll pick this up right quick and be banging it out with the big boys within the hour. Right. My first auction was for a “voucher” for 15 more bids.
The clock was ticking down and no one had bid on it yet. “Go ahead,” said Jim. “Hit the bid button, see what
happens.” I did and my screen name popped up as the “current
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winner,” along with a picture of a ragged-looking stuffed bunny. “What the hell is that?” I said. “They give you that as an avatar; you can change it if
you want.” Ooh, my own custom-selected avatar! Jim just smiled, popping a new drill bit into his cordless.
Funny, he had sent me out to the truck to look for his set of bits about an hour ago. So I bid on a voucher for 15 more bids. One penny.
Tick, tick, tick. Man, this is so cool! Tick-tick-tick … it hits one second and then kinda stalls, just for an instant, and then… “SOLD!” For one whole penny I just picked up 15 more bids!
Well, it was one penny plus the 60 cents it cost me to buy that bid in the first place. But I’d already spent that money, so it didn’t really count. Next up, an auction for a $15 Home Depot gift card,
plus another 15 free bids. Click. Bid. Tick-tick-tick… another winner! Again, for only one penny — no other bidders. This is way too freaking easy! Savvy hombre like me should clean up... Then I see the Holy Grail — a brand new Taylormade
Burner 2.0 driver — you know, the slick one with the white head. Hit it at a golf show the week before. I kinda liked it, but if I could buy it for a buck or two, I could learn to love it. Click. Bid. Tick-tick-ti… Someone else snuck in a bid.
Oh yeah?Obviously doesn’t know he’s dealing with one savvy hombre. I'll show him. Click. Bid. Tick-ti…another bid. Then another and another and another. What’s going on? “Looks like you have some competition there, chief,”
said Jim as he smiled, picking up a container of wire nuts. He had asked earlier if I had any in the garage. I didn’t, although I did spend about 20 minutes hunting for them. Bid, bid, bid. After eight bids (or $4.80 worth of
contributions from The Barba Foundation to
Quibids.com), I told Jim I’d wait it out until some of the other bidders dropped out. Two bids later, the item is sold for $2.75 to some guy in Montana. Apparently this guy reallywanted this golf club. He had bid 24 times — $14.40 worth of bids, plus the $2.75 he paid for the item.
In all, he bought a $299.00 brand spanking new Taylormade driver for $17.15. Two bids after I dropped out.
“Damn, just a little more patience and that could have
been me!” “That’s right,” says Jim. “Keep hunting around, see if
there’s anything else you want to bid on. You’ve figured it out, just bid away.” He was now taping the seams to seal up the humidifier. When did he get it in the ductwork? I must have missed it. I don’t actually remember Jim finishing the job, packing
up or even leaving. But I do remember bidding on some golf balls, some more bid vouchers and a digital measuring cup. Didn’t win anything, but I did gain an “achievement badge” for frequent bidding. Which was nice. Later that night, starting around 10:00, I jumped into
an auction for a $399.00 Callaway FT-iz driver. I won’t make the same mistake I made earlier
the $2.50 mark and be “in-it-to-win-it.” I ran out of bids around 10:45, even though I had
bought another $45 worth. The club wound up selling two hours later for $23.17. How the heck can
Quibids.com make money selling stuff that cheaply? Well, it hit me. $23.17 represents 2,317 bids at 60 cents a pop. That nets out to over $1,390.00 worth of income. For a $399.00 item. Everyone who bids gets a little bit poorer, but Quibids winds up a lot richer. Not me, though. I’m a savvy hombre. I won a $15 Home Depot gift card for only a penny
. I’m gonna beat
the system! Three days later I finally hit the mother of all auctions.
Within minutes of each other, Quibids was auctioning another FT-iz driver, a Callaway Diablo Octane driver (nice) and another white Taylormade Burner. That oughta split up the golf crowd, and I’ll scoop one up at a bargain. Better reinforce the bid pile, though, so another $45 donation was made to Quibids. I could hear the gratitude through the Internet. How did it turn out? Well, ever been to a grocery store
and there’s three lanes open? No matter which lane you pick, it winds up screeching to a halt once you’re in it, while the others speed along. I go for the FT-iz, and the bidding goes on. And on. And on. My hundred bids in reserve were now in single digits. I
bought more. It didn’t help. Out of morbid curiosity I decided to check on the other two auctions. Diablo Octane — SOLD for 14 freakin’ cents. Taylormade Burner (the whiteone!) — SOLD for 27
freakin’ cents. John — out of bids, out of time, out of money. I
immediately closed my account. And started plotting Jim’s demise. So what does this experience tell us? Ellen Ruppel
Shell in her book, Cheap: The High Cost of Discount Culture, says that the hunt for bargains may deliver low price, but it very rarely delivers satisfaction. Or value. My experience, however, says that the never-ending quest for the ultimate bargain, the amazing deal, the $400 golf club for mere pennies, is always won by someone else. Me? I have a $15 Home Depot gift card. I paid 175
bucks for it. But if anyone asks, I’ll tell them it only cost me a penny. As for the other side of that all-time great 45, well, we’ll let Paul take it from here. l
. I’ll jump in around
phc may 2011
www.phcnews.com
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