ARE THEY NORMAL?


they enjoy exploring their thoughts and feelings. Tey may avoid so- cial gatherings, especially large ones with many unfamiliar people as being around many people for a long time drains their energy and would make them long for time alone to do things they love to do. Spontaneity may also not be one of their strengths because they take time to think and analyse things before they talk or make decisions. Tis, howev- er, doesn’t mean they lack good social and communication skills


Paula, a teenage introvert, says one of the things she finds so unpleasant is when people keep asking her if there is some- thing wrong with her because she is quiet. “Some- times I just want to be quiet, how does that make me


abnormal?” she asks. Introversion and extroversion has been the subject of many studies for centuries, and almost all the personality


introverts. It restores energy. It is their natural niche. Extroverts are like solar panels. For extroverts, be- ing alone, or inside, is like living under a heavy cloud cover. Solar panels need the sun to recharge – extroverts need to be out and about to refuel’’.


theories have touched on the introvertish traits. A study con- ducted by Debra Johnson, Ph.D., and John S. Wiebe, Ph.D., has also shown that the wide difference in the behaviour of extroverts and introverts is because they show different activity in different brain structures. Tis means that introverts are normal, extroverts are normal. Nei- ther of the personalities is a disorder, and there is also no ideal personality. Tey are just wired differently and their unique- ness influences their pattern of behaviour.


“Most introverts are not looking to change; they achieve their goals, make friends and have fun in their own way”


DO THEY NEED


TO CHANGE? One of the mistakes most people make when relating to an intro- vert is the urge to draw them out of their supposed shells. Introverts don’t need to be fixed to become ex- troverts, just as extroverts don’t need


to change to introverts! It is not a right or wrong situation, no personality is superior to the other. Like introversion, extrover- sion is also a hard-wired temperament; they are both unique in their own way, each with its own set of strengths and weaknesses. One blogger and introvert has this to


say about the issue: “I think one of the most difficult aspects of being an introvert is dealing with those people in our lives who want us to become extroverts. I have experienced this phenomenon many times with individuals who I didn’t feel the need to impress or explain myself to.” Most introverts enjoy who they are and


If you think introverts are by definition shy, think again!


are not looking to change; they achieve their goals, make friends and have fun in their own way, which might not neces- sarily be the way an extrovert would do it. It is a great misconception to think introverts are miserable and don’t have what it takes to achieve their goals in an extroverted world. Sophia Dembling in an article titled


ARE THEY SHY? If you think introverts are shy,


or that do not like people or enjoy their company. Psychotherapist and author,


Marti Olsen Laney, in her book Te Introvert Advantage, gives an interesting description of the two personalities. She says: “Introverts are like a recharge- able battery. Tey need to stop expending energy and rest in or- der to recharge. Tis is what a less stimulating environment provides for


antisocial, depressed and passive, you are wrong! Although many people think the words ‘shy’ and ‘introvert’ mean the same thing, they aren’t the same. For instance a shy person might stay away from a party because of irrational fear or anxiety when around people,


introverts however, don’t feel like that (unless they are also shy), they would stay away because they don’t find it worthwhile and would rather be doing something else or because it will drain their energy. Many introverts are in fact very confident people who are not easily influenced by peer pressure, they oſten develop close friendships and much prefers a few close friends to many acquaintances.


Introverts Unite, expressed what many introverts would like to say to the world, “I am not shy, socially awkward or in any way socially inept. I don’t hate people, I’m not unfriendly, I’m not stuck up, and I am perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation. I can even speak in public and do so fairly oſten. To meet me, you might think I’m extro- verted. But the difference between extroverts and introverts is not that the former are good at socialising and the latter aren’t. It’s that ex- troverts are outwardly focused and draw energy from social interactions while introverts are inwardly focused and drained by interactions.’’


WINTER 2011 | NEW AFRICAN WOMAN | 83


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