GAY RIGHTS HOT ISSUE Janesa Espeut (right) & Meukika Stewart (left)


Status: In a relationship Nationality: Jamaican and British-Jamaican


What does it mean to be black and gay? Janesa: It’s a long story for me... I am Jamaican and I have five kids. I have been in a gay relationship for nine months now. I do get a lot of fight from everyone, but you have to be strong and stay focused. If you love someone you don’t care, love is love whatever the sex of


the partner, so I am just making the best of it. My mother is a Christian and at first she was shocked, but she is now more comfortable with me being with a woman. My first relationship with a man lasted 22 years. After we


broke up I was in another relationship that ended because he was killed. I made the decision not to go back into a relationship with another man because I was through with all the pain and drama but then I fell in love with a woman. In the beginning it was hard for me because I felt


uncomfortable and I did not know if I would feel sexually satisfied, but once I was willing to give it a go and I felt comfortable I realised that I did not need a man. The rest, as they say, is history!


Meukika: I am from a mixed race background – Jamaican father and a white mother. I have always known I was gay from a child. I even fancied my babysitter. Because of society I did have a boyfriend, which was OK, but my boyfriend always knew that I was gay and said that I should follow my heart – in fact my ex-partner is now my best friend and he loves my ‘misses’. I love my woman – my Jamaican woman, they call her Lady


Gangster. I love her to death, she is my world and I am so happy! I would never go with a man again.


Gladwin Mlangeni-Wiltshire (left) & Lebo Brighton (right)


Status: Single Nationality: South African


What does it mean to be black and gay? Gladwin: I am actually bi-racial, my dad is from Wales and my mum is South African mixed. It was hard coming out to my mum’s family because most of them are based in South Africa, which is strictly Adam and Eve and no Steve in-between. However, because I was brought


up westernised and grew up in England it was easier for me to come out, but when I went back to South Africa I had to be cautious about who I told.


How does Africa need to evolve in accepting homosexuality? 74 | NEW AFRICAN WOMAN | WINTER 2012


Africans need to realise the difference between sexuality and sex. Sexuality means I am attracted to a bloke, not sex, but as soon as you say I am gay, people’s minds go straight to thinking about the sexual act! My sexuality and what I am doing is very private. I don’t ask people what they do when they sleep with their wife or husband. This is private stuff and society needs to establish the difference that sexuality and sex are two different things. I also think the older generation needs to learn that the


world has changed. What annoys me is that most people think that gay people choose to be that way – but we don’t!


How have you been able to keep your Christian faith and be gay? Lebo: Everybody and anybody can have a relationship with God, including homosexuals, lesbians, bisexual and transgenders, so those who prefer same-sex relationships don’t need to go to church and worry about if the congregation will accept them because God will. God says you must ‘love thy neighbour’ and ‘not to judge


others’ – that’s His/Her job so whether you’re gay or not, churches and Christians should welcome all if they are true servers of God.


Mr Oscar (left) & Michael Whittingham (right)


Status: Married Nationality: Jamaican and Ghanaian


What does it mean to be black and gay? Oscar: My partner and I were married outside the Millennium Wheel because we wanted everyone to see us happy and in love – two gay men! We were dating five months


before we said “I do” – we had what many describe as a whirl- wind romance. I knew this was


the person for me because of his presence and the way he made me feel, which was like no other person. Coming from Jamaican parentage it was difficult, but I was inspired to come out by my husband. I told my mum and she has accepted who I am which has been a great comfort for me. She has always said as long as I am happy she is happy. Everyone else in the family has had to follow suit because she is like boss lady!


Michael: Coming out family wise has been a struggle. My mother was not too bad, but my father was the worse and I have had to keep him at arm’s length.


Did you always know you were gay? I have always known I was gay. I came out at 15 and I love to dress camp because it makes me feel better, comfortable and most importantly, powerful. When I was younger I was very much into the Ghanaian


scene, however, when I began to explore my sexuality I drifted away from my culture. I think the African community needs to change. They are very backwards. I think education is the key and it’s very important that homosexuality is taught in schools along with the true meaning of “tolerance” and “acceptance”.


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