E8 OnLove NUPTIALS
Megan Smith & Jeremy Kenney
Jeremy Kenney, 39, is an applications developer at the Republican National Committee. Megan Smith, 29, is a librarian and researcher at the American Physical Therapy Association. They live on Capitol Hill.
Wedding date: July 24.
Location: The ceremony and reception were at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.
How they met: In June 2007, Smith and Kenney accompanied separate groups of friends to a fundraising party for the D.C. Rollergirls at Asylum in Adams Morgan. Smith spotted Kenney across the dark bar, which was crowded with a spanking booth and dozens of tall women in knee-high boots. She introduced herself and they began talking about Philadelphia, where her grandmother lived and he grew up. Before their first date the next week, Smith Googled Kenney and discovered that he’s a Republican (she’s not) and 10 years older than she. “I didn’t know if it was going to end up being a really uncomfortable dinner where we don’t agree on anything,” she says. “But it was great.” Within a month, they were a couple.
The proposal: In July 2009, they vacationed with her family in New Mexico. The rest of the clan knew he planned to pop the question and were anxious to celebrate, but he couldn’t find the right moment. Finally he woke Smith up extra early one morning and asked her to go for a walk while the rest of the house was still sleeping. In the middle of a dirt road, he knelt on one knee and pulled out the ring.
The wedding: Smith and Kenney wanted their wedding to be festive and fun. They decided on a carnival-themed reception with bright pink tablecloths and a rainbow of colored napkins. Guests were offered fake mustaches, tattoos and caramel corn. Pinwheels in old-fashioned, gumball-filled soda bottles served as the centerpieces and 100 strands of orange and pink Christmas lights were strung throughout the hall. The cake was decorated like a circus big top.
Honeymoon: The couple spent time with their families at Chautauqua Lake in western New York.
After seven months as professional by Ellen McCarthy
When Laurent Reze was a young boy, his parents took him from Paris to the South of France to visit a favorite aunt. His mother begged the aunt, known for her powers of divination, for a tarot card reading. After the cards were turned over, the aunt requested that the boy be left with her for another month. On the way home, Reze’s parents were injured in a grisly car accident. Had he been with them, he likely would have died. While his parents recovered over the next year, Reze lived with his aunt, slowly digesting her ways with the tarot cards. He read them now and then as he
grew up, went to culinary school, joined the French Navy and came to the United States to work at his country’s embassy. But when he met a woman here and got married at 23, Reze packed the cards away. “I said, ‘I don’t want to live my life around this,’ ” he re- calls. For 12 years, he moved up and down the East Coast, working as a chef in res- taurants, hotels and private homes. His career flourished as his marriage floun- dered. By summer 2007, he was exec- utive sous chef at the Sheraton in Crys- tal City and spending every hour he could at the restaurant. It was better than being at home. “I felt miserable,” he says.
Contemplating a separation, Reze, who had a young daughter, unearthed his tarot cards. The central card he pulled showed the sun and moon to- gether. The cards preceding that one showed suffering; after it, signs of hap- piness. “I thought, ‘I haven’t played that thing for so many years, I don’t know what it means anymore,’ ” he says. As Reze moved numbly through his
days, he’d nod “Good morning” and “Good night” to Ming Xie, the hotel’s food and beverage manager, who worked hours long enough to match his own. He didn’t know it, but Xie didn’t like going home any more than he did.
SHANE CLEMINSON/BARNYARDPHOTOGRAPHY.COM
acquaintances, Xie resigned and moved on to work at a private members’ club in the District. A month later, Reze transferred to a Sheraton in Baltimore and began preparing to file for a di- vorce, deciding, “I can’t be miserable like that.”
By fall 2008, Reze was working at the Ronald Reagan Building. He received a call from Xie, telling him that a few for- mer Crystal City Sheraton employees were planning a mini-reunion the Sat- urday after Thanksgiving. Xie walked into La Madeleine in
thing,” Reze says. “I told my whole life to her. And her the same.” For Xie, who grew up in China, it was
like a confession to an anonymous air- plane seatmate. “My family is not here, so you can’t really express to people about how much suffering you have,” she says. “I was like, ‘Okay, I’m not go- ing to see him very often. Why not?’ ” Three weeks later, Reze devised a tasting menu for Xie and a mutual friend. He worked meticulously on the dinner, but it wasn’t until the friend asked how he liked Xie that he realized, “I like her a lot — maybe more than I
“Our love story was written in the stars”
Ming Xie & Laurent Reze
Georgetown — and found that no one except Reze and his 8-year-old daugh- ter was there. “I was like, ‘What am I go- ing to say to him?’ ” she recalls. “I didn’t know where to start, because we were not very close.” So she started rather abruptly with “I
just finished a divorce.” Reze’s daughter laughed and pointed
at her dad. “Just like him!” she said. The former colleagues traded stories about their breakups, then quickly said goodbye. Two days later, Reze called to politely thank Xie for meeting him. When she mentioned that it was her day off and she planned to spend it tak- ing a long walk, he asked if he could join her. As they strolled the 3.2-mile Hains Point loop, “we told each other every-
thought.” As they said goodbye after the din-
ner, he gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head — “a goofy kiss,” she says. A few days later, he sent a middle-of- the-night e-mail asking Xie if she thought it was possible to fall in love with someone after spending just a few days together. Xie, now 33, responded that it was too soon after the divorce for her to even think of such things. “Take your time,” he wrote back. Still, Xie asked if Reze thought love should be like a river, wild and passion- ate, or a creek, steady and soft. “I am the river,” he responded. Indeed, their conversations soon
grew longer, intense and intimate. “Opening myself in every detail to
KLMNO
ON LOVE ONLINE Join us at
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SUNDAY, AUGUST 15, 2010
WHAT YOU’LL FIND ONLINE • Our OnLove questionnaire, which couples can fill out to be considered for coverage. • Videos, photos, advice and polls.
TRACY A. WOODWARD/THE WASHINGTON POST LOYAL: During tumultuous times in Laurent Reze’s life, including financial problems and worries that he had prostate cancer, Ming Xie stood by his side.
someone — that was something I’d nev- er done in my life,” he says. One night, Reze, now 38, asked why
Xie had never changed her name to something more American. “My name has a special meaning,” she told him. “In Chinese characters, my name, Ming, means ‘sun plus moon.’ ” By March, he’d moved into her house. But Reze’s turmoil continued — he was nearly broke, lost much of his prop- erty and struggled through a custody battle. “Why do you want to be with a guy like me?” he’d ask her. For the first few months, he admits, “I was so damaged that we slept togeth- er but we did not make love. That took the longest time.” That summer, Reze’s doctors began to fear he had prostate cancer. “And she was so supportive every inch of the way,” he says. As he lay on the exam table, Reze
prayed that God would give him 10 more years of life. “One of the things I wanted to do was love that woman,” he says. “I wanted to marry that woman.” The tests came back negative. And
every few months he would casually ask Xie to marry him. “Are you sure this is what you want?” she would respond, deflecting the question. Finally, Reze’s mother visited from
France in June, and they headed to the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception to light a can- dle for his deceased father. There, he formally proposed, presenting Xie with a necklace inscribed with a French poem. “It means ‘I love you more than yesterday, but already much less than tomorrow,’ ” he says. The two were married at aD.C. court- house on July 30. Eight guests looked on as they exchanged vows beneath an arch of silk flowers before heading to dinner at Sorak Garden in Annandale. Reze was speechless the night Xie told him the meaning of her name, re- membering tarot cards. “I always say our love story was writ- ten in the stars,” he says. “It really was.”
mccarthye@washpost.com
ONLINE LOVE A stubborn conflict with your sweetheart? There’s a Web site for that. by Ellen McCarthy Let’s say you and your significant other
have some intractable argument you can’t resolve. She wants a dog; you’re disgusted by pet hair. He thinks four meals a week at his parents’ house is perfect; you try to feign appendicitis every time you pull in that driveway. “Roughing it” means a Hil- ton without a pool to you; he refuses to even bring toilet paper on camping ad- ventures.
Where should a thoroughly modern couple turn for help with these weighty is- sues? Friends? Counselors? Advice colum- nists?
So 20th century. Let’s let the almighty
Internet clear things up.
CouplesSpark.com is a relationship Web site launched this year by 27-year-old
Kunmi Ayanbule of Gaithersburg. Ayan- bule is a single guy who has a master’s de- gree in bioinformatics, the use of com- puter science to study genes, and works at the National Institutes of Health. He has regularly used the Web for online dating. After noticing the Internet didn’t have much to offer people already in relation- ships, he set about creating a new site. Ayanbule’s intention was to offer a con-
flict resolution feature, in addition to re- sources such as restaurant recommenda- tions and expert advice. When Jerry Sein- feld’s reality show “The Marriage Ref” debuted this spring, Ayanbule rushed to launch
CouplesSpark.com because both operated on the same concept: A group of strangers can solve that domestic dispute better than the two of you. Since April, 250 conflicts have been posted on Ayanbule’s site for public view-
After noticing the Internet
didn’t have much to offer people already in
relationships,
Kunmi Ayanbule set about
creating a new site.
ing. In each disagreement, both sides pre- sent their case. Visitors then vote on which mate’s argument they agree with and offer insights, advice and comments. One man was furious that his wife was balking at turning their three-car garage into a “perfect man cave.” She explained that they had just spent a lot of money and didn’t need to go overboard with new projects, such as the purchase of a $7,000 pool table. Almost 85 percent of voters sided with her. “Hang on a sec,” wrote a commenter named Natalie. “Where are the cars meant to go?” The couple up- dated the page with their resolution: A cheaper man cave is in the works. The debates range from silly to serious. One guy wanted to know if he was at fault for leaving his wife in Mexico after she went to the bathroom and the airplane doors closed before she got on board.
(Verdict: You blew it, dude.) A woman hates her boyfriend’s bushy beard with blond highlights — “You read that right,” she wrote. “BLOND highlights.” But he didn’t care: “It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside,” he responded. The Internet hive brain aligned with her, but not by much — 42 percent of voters thought he should keep the beard. The couples are anonymous, as are the voters, though Ayanbule plans to add a registration form that will allow for the demographic breakdown of voting re- sults, making it possible to see if women tend to side with women and men with men. Ayanbule thinks the site will spark in- teresting conversations. “My goal is to get couples talking,” he says. “That’s what really resolves conflicts.”
mccarthye@washpost.com
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