John elsey photographs his son Ray with Coles after Ray’s graduation in January.
classes with Coles, convinced that the sense of confidence and structure they’d found would be especially beneficial for Ray. He took to the classes right away. Laura says that Coles frequently takes
kids with special challenges under his wing. “We want Ray to grow up to be re- ally proud of who he is — a proud young African American male. And even on that level, there is Master Coles again.” She smiles. “It’s such a gift, because he’s such a strong role model for him.”
(their youngest, Millie, was too young). The four family members earned their black belts under Coles before moving back to London in 2006. They lived in London for eight
months, says Laura, a freelance writer, before they decided that they missed America too much and wanted to re- turn. One of the things they missed the most was tae kwon do. “It was such an anchor for us,” Laura
says. “I love tae kwon do on so many dif- ferent levels — it’s a confidence builder, and especially for teenagers at a time when they could make some really bad choices, [Coles] is like a kind of a wise older uncle, a guiding paternal figure.” The Elseys returned to the States in 2007 and re-enrolled at Coles’s academy. And they set out to add to their family of five: John and Laura decided to adopt a child through the D.C. foster-care system. In May of 2009, they saw a photo-
graph of Ray in the Adoptions Together monthly newsletter. The family met Ray the following September. At the time, the boy was living with a foster family in Maryland. Over several months, the Elseys and Ray had weekend visits fol- lowed by overnight stays — an attempt to acclimate Ray to his new family. The Elseys enrolled Ray in beginner’s
The studio fills quickly on the evening of the graduation ceremony, an event for students who are ready to receive their next belt. Once the audi- ence settles in, the graduating students bow toward the U.S. and South Korean flags, recite the student creed, and sit in rows on the mat. In the second row, Ray is smiling. He is here tonight to receive his gold belt, a month ahead of his origi- nal graduation date. The white belts come to the mat
first. Even the pint-sized students look serious; Ray’s smile is gone, his brow furrowed with determination. Coles takes a sheet of contact paper and walks down the rows of students, command- ing them first to punch, then to kick. “Good. Knee up high,” Coles says
to Ray, who nods firmly. “Let’s see the back punch.” Ray switches sides with- out missing a beat. The students line up against the mir-
rored back wall, grasping the railing for balance as they perform their kicks, holding their knee up for two full sec- onds before lowering their leg to the floor. “Slow, turn, THRUST, back!” Coles shouts rhythmically. Ray bobbles the first time, putting his leg down too quickly. He winces, disappointed. The second time he kicks, he holds his balance perfectly. “You make a mistake, don’t worry
about it. Just keep going,” Coles says to the group. Ten minutes into their demonstra-
tion, the attention spans of some of the youngest white belts begin to falter. Coles takes out a long padded stick and gently
bops one of the little students on the head. The audience giggles. “Remember to — ” Coles starts, then pauses. “PAY ATTENTION!” the little kids
shout, as another gets thwapped in the arm. Coles swings the stick around his back, toward Ray’s cheek. Ray’s arm shoots up and blocks the strike. “Look at Ray; he’s paying attention!”
Coles says. Ray’s face is a mask of concen- tration. The audience applauds. Millie Elsey, now 9, who is circling the mat with a camera, snaps a picture of her brother. After the white-belt students do a
long set of push-ups, Coles dismisses them. “Good job! Take a seat. Give them a hand, guys!” Coles says, and the studio erupts into cheers and clapping. One group at a time, students take
their place on the mat to earn their next belt. At the end of the evening, Coles stands at the center of the mat and calls each student’s name. Ray is one of the first few to be called.
His expression is still serious as he hur- ries to Coles, bows and takes his diploma. “Thank you,” he says, and turns to go back to his place on the mat. “Wait!” Coles says, and extends his hand. Ray takes it, and the two hold each other’s gaze as they shake. “Congratulations,” Coles says. “Thank you, sir,” Ray says. Everyone
in the studio claps. Diploma in one hand, gold belt in the other, Ray finds his spot on the mat and sits. He sets the paper in front of him, still holding the new belt tightly in his fist. He examines the cer- tificate, and, finally, his face breaks into a wide smile. After the ceremony, as stu- dents rush to greet and thank Coles, Ray and his family wait for their chance to approach their instructor. “Hey, great job, Ray,” Coles says, and
Laura Elsey takes out a camera, gestur- ing for the pair to stand together. They pose before the mirrors, several feet away from the wall that displays the framed photograph of the young Coles and his idol, Bruce Lee. Ray stands beside his teacher, who
places his arm around Ray’s shoulders. Coles smiles proudly. Ray grins happily. The camera flashes.
Caitlin Gibson is a staff writer for The Washington Post. She can be reached at
gibsonc@washpost.com.
august 15, 2010 | The WashingTon PosT Magazine 13
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