At the age of 30 I took myself off to drama school in London I had to find out if I was any good or not. I was terrified that if I didn’t do it then I would turn 40 and that would be too late, I couldn’t bear that thought.
What I learnt there was priceless and transformed my life and more importantly my experience of my life. I learnt to enjoy presenting and performing. I was already a high achiever, educated, intelligent, driven, life and soul of the party, a good performer. I was even more fabulous if I’d had a glass or two of Dutch courage!
Outwardly I appeared to others to be confident, but it was all an act, inside I felt quite empty, I stressed and worried about what other people thought about me, I learnt how to survive situations rather than how to enjoy them.
My life had become a performance; I was a fake and had become skilled at faking it. So in my private moments I couldn’t bear to be with myself, who wants to live with a fake? But I couldn’t stop doing it.
My training gave me skills and insight to learn to enjoy performing.
Once I mastered using this knowledge I became fearless. The best way I can describe what this feels like is I now feel like I did when I was very young, maybe 5 or 6 years old, uninhibited, everything is very simple and enjoyable.
An absence of fear and without fear I know how to think. When you know how to think there is nothing to fear. Some people call this being your true self.
That’s what I teach: How to think. It is the most wonderful feeling when a client lets go of their fear, the spontaneity and joy that kicks in is so thrilling to watch. The sense of achievement that clients get is amazing and once learnt it stays with you forever.
So what is confidence? For me confidence means an absence of fear and that is true freedom.
Do I still fake it? No, I don’t need to.
Peak District based Kate Marlow is an International Performance Coach. She has worked on the award winning TV shows ‘Strictly Come Dancing’, ‘X Factor’ and ‘Faking It’, as well as presenting her own TV series ‘Model Turned Actor’, ‘Reality Check’ and ‘New Boy’ for Channel 4. Kate clients include Premiership Footballers, Rock and Pop Stars, TV presenters, Actors, Supermodels, Executives and she famously gave performance tips to Simon Cowell. She has received awards from the British Olympic Association and HRH Prince of Wales. Kate is the careers coach for Glamour Magazine. She has danced with George Michael, sung with Robbie Williams and dined with Gordon Ramsay.
www.katemarlow.co.uk WORK - 17
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