NLP
Using the NLP Parts Model
“The parts model works great for deeply rooted problems,” says Victor Escalante, a
communications coach and New Media specialist. Victor remembers working with a 70
year old man who had been working in personal development for most of his life but
had limiting beliefs around power and affluence. “I age regressed him and created a
strong part of him that was assaulted with mom’s issues and beliefs about self worth.
The complex equivalence was ‘Being a Jesuit priest is your family duty’. Since he left
While it’s healthy to have
the seminary two years prior to graduating, his mom never really accepted him. This set
up a lifetime of seeking approval from surrogate mothers.” different parts available
Victor was fascinated by another man who “was in such a deep trance, age regressed,
to us, it’s important to
that he could not answer simple questions about the adult self. When I reintegrated the
two parts I knew it as a successful deep intervention. Months later, when I heard from
remind ourselves that
him, the problem was gone.”
they’re just aspects
see if you’re trying to distract people or if now is an appropriate time courage to speak your own truth even when you’re worried that others
to joke around. won’t agree.
THE FIXER THE REBEL
The Fixer sees the world in terms of what can be The Rebel will do the opposite of whatever’s
done to solve things. wanted, with or without cause.
The Plus Side – Very resourceful, your Fixer can The Plus Side – The Rebel doesn’t let others’
motivate you to do whatever needs doing in any opinions get in the way. Your Rebel can help you
situation. steer your own path through life being true to yourself.
The Down Side – Sometimes, you may be overly keen to “fix” The Down Side – Sometimes, The Rebel can disagree for the sake of
others. Especially if you’re coaching, it’s important to help people it. If an idea comes from an authority figure, it may be dismissed even
draw on their own resources rather than stepping in with solutions and if it’s actually a good one.
disempowering them. The Solution – Again, taking a moment to assess the situation can
The Solution – Take a step back. Does this situation need to be stop your Rebel burning bridges when they’re actually quite helpful.
resolved or would it be better to allow things to unfold more naturally? Remind yourself that you can express your own authority without
What kind of questions can you ask to help the person whose problem automatically doing the opposite of what’s been suggested. Using
it is help themselves? reverse psychology on yourself may also help.
What are the benefits of the parts you identify most strongly with in
VICTIM your own life?
The Victim feels powerless and hurt. Always. Can you see which parts are most active in the people closest to you?
The Plus Side – Your Victim can alert you to How can you keep the best elements of your strongest parts without
injustice and help you see that a situation isn’t letting them take control of your life?
right. It can be empathic and so can spur you into While I was stuck in my neighbour’s house and my Child started
becoming an advocate for other victims. running the show, I felt all my usual resourcefulness drain away. I
The Down Side – Defaulting into a “Why do these things keep tried to call out of the letter box but it was locked from the inside.
happening to me?” type heap means you may miss opportunities and I ran up to their living room but the windows were locked along with
potential solutions. the back door.
The Solution – Acknowledge your hurt at the situation but don’t After wasting several minutes bemoaning my lack of own phone
wallow for too long. Gather all your resources (your Fixer can be a (with stored numbers) and internet, I took some time out and did a mini
great ally here) and save yourself. meditation. This was enough to bring some of my resourcefulness. My
Fixer kicked in. I spotted their phone and figured I’d have to phone a
locksmith although it would be better if I could phone a neighbour. I
THE PLEASER asked myself where I might put neighbours’ numbers if I lived there
The Pleaser’s mantra is “Like me, like me, like and while I didn’t find the numbers, I found the back door key.
me”. So I was able to yell for help to another neighbour, throw the keys
The Plus Side – Very adaptable, your Pleaser can over a few back yards and be let out. (When I feed the pets today, I will
be great to work with or deal with. be leaving the front door wide open.)
The Down Side – If not kept in check, The
Pleaser can grow resentful even though no one else ever asked for all
Resources
the pleasing things that were offered.
The Solution – Take a moment before agreeing to anything. If your
www.applecoaching.com
Pleaser is very active, you’ll be used to prioritising others’ needs over
www.promojorx.ning.com
your own. Centre yourself to see how you feel about things. Have the
rapport - Autumn 2009
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