BacKpage
Westminster Calling
Property professional Paul de Odervan is spinning.
A
s flaming June comes secure number – and the third, a German lass, who said, “I am velly it remains on the drive, leaking oil
to a close I’m writing very sexy little thing (although I’m vell” although I hadn’t asked. Am I everywhere. The buyers say they
another monthly report not supposed to say that), said getting predictable? won’t move in until the truck’s
for HO. This month’s she was going on Big Brother to Apparently sales are up 100 gone and the drive’s cleaned.
activity seems to have dropped become a ‘celebrity’. Good God. per cent this month in this, our Then, having accompanied one
off. Not off a cliff precisely, but Altogether I think I deserve flagship, branch. Two completions couple on three occasions to view
certainly a high ledge. How to put promotion, but above me there’s against last month’s one. a £300,000 two-up two-down
a positive spin on it? only the MD – who isn’t going Superb! Letting instructions have cottage in Keston (six hours in all)
I’ll fudge the sales figures anywhere – and the FD and I increased as well, quite a few local they said it was a bit far out. Jason
perhaps and concentrate on how don’t like his job. I went downstairs apartments been taken on. One said he wanted to “punch their
much we are saving now we have and bumped into Clara the chap, John, a right joker, says he’s lights far out”. I’m still trying to
taken credit crunching measures. letting his place because he’s work out what he meant.
I’ve sent back the watercoolers moving into his new apartment I continued, in circular fashion,
and sacked the cleaners. Who across the road from our office. back towards CL, stopping in
needs cleaners when no-one Big Ben’s opposite our office; man Clapham. Nice leafy place, with
comes into the office? I’ve must be bonkers but he looked some very charming homes.
cancelled our memberships of pretty well set up, smart suit – very Our branch is on Abbeville Road
the professional association and nice bit of schmutter. Speaks well which is, I’m told, very trendy. The
the one for the gym. I’ll not miss too, which makes a change. prices are very trendy for sure, not
either, money and rope are the So, into the report goes – 100% much credit crunching here, we
words that come to mind. I’ve held increase in sales, 25% increase in have 12 houses over £1.5 million
the summer staff party in the park letting instructions. within 100 yards of the office!
as it was a nice day and, having Travelling to Bromley, a Amazing. My grandad lived here
it at lunchtime meant the staff good hour’s drive from the after the war when he couldn’t
didn’t drink so much! Top move. sophistication of CL (as we work after being gassed. It wasn’t
Then of course we’ve saved on call our noble spot) it’s a that special then as I recall.
salaries as three of the girls have different conversation. Sophie, our manager, says that
left. One said she couldn’t afford Jason says its been “a the banker boys have gone ‘low
a new handbag which was “just, bummer of a week”. I was pro’ (file) but there is still a stream
like, unacceptable”, our accounts a bit taken aback, didn’t of yummy mummies with those
girl said she’d been offered a know he dressed that huge buggies looking for the next
position in Westminster – a more side. But it seems he purchase. “Moving is a way of life
meant that it was here,” says Sophie; they’re quite
useless, business- upbeat, having had two good sales
‘Who needs
wise. A semi-mock- in a week. Even at our bargain one
cleaners when
tudor on Bromley per cent fee, that’s £20k going
Common nearly into the coffers. Best get back
no-one comes
completed but the and finish my report before I hear
owner couldn’t get anything negative. Day’s not been
into the office?’ his truck started and such a bummer after all.
74 JULY-AUGUST 2009 PROPERTYdrum
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