p70 postcards passed:p82 Postcards passed 21/01/2009 13:06 Page 70
POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE
The return
of Mr
Brightside
Paul Stephenson
www.bgdf.co.uk
Printwear & Promotion
Pick up any paper, check out at any internet news
site and all you’ll see is unrelenting financial gloom.
But as Paul Stephenson discovers, looking on the bright
side just might be your best and only option
P
icture the scene: Friday night, at the end of know what she needs Brian, she needs a right plasmas, and they'll be
any bar on the outskirts of any town, and good...' Yes that's right boys, what she really popping on the bicycle clips
two men discuss the current financial needs is three pints of Malibu, a Poodle Madras and ordering the 5 ply industrial Andrex....'Don't
crisis. Resplendent in stripey shirts, un-tucked of and a two hour explanation of how you became sell your house! Don't buy a car! How much do
course and perhaps with a light seasonal dusting head salesmen for Tools R Us - she'd rather give you reckon we'd get for Grandma on EBay?'
of dandruff. At least one of them will have spent mouth to mouth to the wrong end of a donkey. Everyone starts to look about as optimistic as Wile
too much time in the jewellery section of the Our two heroes might have more chance of E Coyote, just before he gets hit in the face with
Argos catalogue, but we can't see him - we're making a successful Trans Atlantic pedallo an anvil.
half blinded by his aromatic friend, who's just had crossing, but what they do have is optimism - by A quick waft about the internet though, being
his head in a bucket of Rhino Thrust (for men). the skip load - of the wazzing in the wind variety careful to avoid searches like 'how to get lucky'
We won't have to wait too long, and inevitably perhaps, but in a way, good luck to them. will reveal the undoubted benefits of optimism -
a beautiful superior health, greater achievement, increased
woman will longevity, less stress and so on - but most of
walk into the these surveys seem to have been carried out by
bar - in search teeth whitened Californians, who presumably
of the perfect tan spend most of their time roller blading and
she may have thanking you for being part of their Tuesday. I
been sprayed more can't see that putting much vinegar on your chips
times than a stolen after a good night out in Huddersfield.
Astra, but she's What we need in these sticky times perhaps,
beautiful none the less. are some believable, down the pub reasons for
And equally inevitably keeping our peckers up.
Jewellery Boy will turn to So why then, when There are a few choice political canapés being
Toxic Cloud Man Dr Smugchops from The passed around at the moment; the reduction in
and say 'You Bad News University starts talking VAT, falling fuel prices, lower interest rates…..
on TV, do they soak up every It's a valiant effort, but let's be honest, unless
negative word? Show them a you were about to buy a Ferrari Spider you're not
planet revolving out of control going to save much loot on the VAT, and any
and some blood red benefits will have been outweighed by re-printing
financial graphs all the stationary; as far as fuel robbery is
plunging off concerned, by the time you've had a sandwich and
the bottom a paper from the petrol station, you'll still feel like
of their you're driving off without your under crackers; and
95 inch unless you’ve just financed a 38 station Carlos
Fandango Autograph Carousel, with built-in nut
scratcher and drinks cabinet, the interest rate cuts,
if they’re passed on, are unlikely to be a reason to
| 70 | February 2009 www.printwearandpromotion.co.uk
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