Lightspring/
Shutterstock.com
RISING ABOVE ADVERSITY
How to Strengthen Your Resilience Muscle by April Thompson
“
author with Lee Daniel Kravetz of Supersurvivors: Te Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success. Such researchers have found that, like elastic stretched beyond its normal limits,
I
people oſten don’t just bounce back to their old form, but stretch and expand in new ways. Te pair conducted in-depth case studies of survivors of extreme traumatic experiences that went on to do bold things. Just one case in point: Aſter losing a leg in a car accident, college basketball player Casey Pieretti reinvented himself as a successful Hollywood stuntman. According to many studies, 60 to 80 percent of people grow in some way from
personal trauma, known as “post-traumatic growth”, according to Feldman. “It can be as simple as appreciating each day more. It can mean deepening relationships. It may result in a renewed sense of spirituality. Or, it might take one’s life in a dramatically different direction,” he says. Ila Eckhoff, a financial executive in New York City, has experienced
more than her share of challenges: developing cerebral palsy as a toddler, enduring 12 childhood surgeries, losing her mother at age 11 and four years ago, her husband. “All of the struggles and losses brought me here, now,” says Eckhoff. “Nobody ever said life was easy. We have greater appreciation for the things that we had to struggle to achieve.” Choosing self-directedness instead of self-
pity in the face of challenges differentiates those that thrive from those that merely survive, observes Catherine Morisset, a life coach from Ottawa, Canada, who specializes in resilience. “It’s taking responsibility for life and managing the way you want to live it. We all have choices, even in the face of difficulty,” she says.
Mastering an
Optimal Outlook “Challenges don’t define you. How you respond does,” remarks Doug Hensch, an executive coach and author of Positively Resilient: 5½ Secrets to Beat Stress, Overcome Obstacles, and Defeat Anxiety. He attests that having
18 Central Florida a growth mindset is vital, focusing on strengths without
disregarding areas needing improvement. Maintaining a balanced
outlook that’s realistic, yet positive, enables individuals to move on from trauma. For supersurvivors, being pragmatic serves them far better than a false sense of optimism about bad situations, Feldman found, saying, “Tey grieved losses, but thought realistically about what to do next.” “Optimism in the best sense
is focusing on the positive without denying the negative, while focusing on what’s in your control,” notes Hensch. Martin Seligman, known
as the “father of positive
psychology”, found that when people take setbacks personally,
viewing them as permanent, pervasive
and personal, they develop a sense of learned helplessness that inhibits growth
t’s an incredibly hopeful message: We can go through the most terrible things imaginable and still get through to a better place,” says David B. Feldman, associate professor of counseling psychology at California’s Santa Clara University and co-
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40
