– “I’m upset when I see toys on the floor because I’m worried that someone might trip over them and get hurt.”
• Does this mean children shouldn’t experience any consequences? (No.) Talk with the parent about expected behavior and potential consequences to make sure that the parent’s rules are being enforced. For example, maybe a child will lose a privilege, not get to play with a favorite toy, or not get to do a favorite activity.
[Note: If children learn that hitting, slapping, or spanking is how one gets others to do what they want, this is the behavior they will engage in. Caregivers who spank or slap will often use ever-increasing amounts of physical punishment in an attempt to “control” a child. In return, the child has learned to act out physically and will hit, slap, or kick others in an attempt to get others to do what they want.]
Never use hurtful words. Shaming or humiliating a child with words causes pain and has long-lasting consequences. Hurtful words can do as much damage as physical punishment.
Most of the time, you can use the six behavior tips to handle difficult behavior. But sometimes, you may need to call the parent. And in some instances, you may need to call 9-1-1 because there is a serious and urgent risk of harm.
In your booklet on pages 23-25, there is a Behavior Aid Chart that can help you decide how some common behaviors should be handled. I’m going to ask you how you would handle different situations, and I want you to find the answer on your Behavior Aid Chart. [Call on a participant or ask for a volunteer to answer each question].
• How would you handle an infant who was crying? (Check to be sure infant is not hungry, wet, sleepy, or in pain. Comfort infant by cuddling, gently rocking, softly talking, slowly walking infant, or offering pacifier. NEVER shake or punish an infant for crying.)
• How would you handle a toddler who had a temper tantrum? (Ignore child until the tantrum has ended. If child falls to the ground kicking, move things out of the way so child will not be harmed and things won’t get broken. When tantrum ends, distract child with game or play.)
• How would you handle a preschooler who had a potty-training accident? (Clean child and change child’s clothes if needed. Do not scold or tease child.)
• How would you handle two school-age siblings who were fighting? (Settle the argument as fairly as possible. If there is physical fighting, separate the children. Call parent if you are unable to stop the fight. Call 9-1-1 if serious harm is a risk.)
PAGE 14 | GRANDPARENTS: GETTING STARTED INSTRUCTOR MANUAL
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