2. Distract: If the child is upset or behaving in a way that is upsetting or frustrating, distract with a funny story or favorite game or activity.
3. Give choices: If the child is being resistant, give them 2 or 3 acceptable choices.
4. Make a game: Make a game of a chore like picking up toys to make an unpleasant task more fun.
5. When…Then: Promise something the child wants, such as a favorite activity, once the child does what they are supposed to do.
6. Take a break/Start over: Sometimes a child that is engaging in behavior that is destructive needs to take a short break. A short break helps to stop the behavior and encourages the child to get back in control. Once the break is over, help the child return to play by saying, “Okay, let’s start over.”
We call these our Behavior Management Tips. I’m going to read an example, and I want you to think about what tip I’m describing:
• Kayla, 6, doesn’t want to brush her teeth before bedtime. You say, “When you brush your teeth, I’ll read you a story.” (When…Then.)
• Thomas, 3, cries when his mother leaves. You ask him to show you his favorite toy, and he forgets that he is upset. (Distract.)
• Emma, 5, doesn’t want to pick up her toys. You say, “Would you like to put away your toys by yourself or would you like me to help?” (Give choices.)
• David, 10 months old, wakes up from his nap crying. You change his diaper and pick him up and hold him. (Provide comfort.)
• Madison, 4, continues to break the rules even though you have tried everything to get her to cooperate. You decide Madison needs to take a break for 4 minutes. Then you say, “Let’s start over.” (Take a break/ Start over.)
• Twin brothers Joshua and Jacob, 4, do not want to get ready for bed. You say, “Let’s see who can put on their pajamas the fastest!” (Make a game.)
Let’s talk about what NOT to do.
Never use physical punishment like shaking, slapping, spanking, pinching, poking, or hitting. Physically hurting children teaches them that it is okay to physically hurt another person if they are frustrated or angry.
• How many times is a toddler frustrated because they do not get their way? (A lot.)
• How would we like them to respond to that frustration? (We want them to remain calm. We want them to accept that they will not always get their way.)
• How can we teach them to respond that way? (Model that behavior when you are frustrated with them. Remain calm. Accept that they may not act the way you want them to.)
• With older preschoolers and school-age children, you may explain your feelings to them:
– “I’m sad that you broke your sister’s toy.” GRANDPARENTS: GETTING STARTED INSTRUCTOR MANUAL | PAGE 13
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