WITH A CHANGE OF MIND SET, WOMEN OVER 50 CAN GREATLY IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF THEIR LIFE
‘One patient, Jinnie, was of the firm belief that when you reach a certain age you have to behave differently than before. She had just been at her doctor’s where she was asked ‘what do you expect at your age?’
‘So, it was right,’ she told me. ‘Things will just start going downhill from now on! What has my life been about?’
Perhaps unsurprisingly, she was starting to feel a bit depressed. I asked her what type of things she loved to do.
Jinnie was a bit taken aback by that question. She thought for a minute and said, ‘Well, I love to delve back in history and find out why things have happened in particular countries’.
‘So, how often do you do that?’ I responded. ‘Practically never’, she said.
‘You probably know my next question,’ I said. ‘Why not?’
‘This is where I find women come out with all sorts of excuses - from children to elderly parents to partners and then, of course, work.
‘As an NLP practitioner (neurolinguistic practitioner), my job is to ask questions and find out the real reasons for beliefs like, ‘Yes, things will just go downhill from now on’.
‘The skill is to take those beliefs, examine them and regurgitate them in a different way. My goal is for the woman to be thinking differently when she leaves. It’s not enough to think that way after just a session. The thoughts need to be reinforced so that it is the new way of thinking that is permanent.
‘It was interesting in Jinnie’s case that it had been her mother, who had repeatedly stated negative beliefs about ageing. We did have a discussion about what was going on in her mother’s life before she passed away.
‘Jinnie explained that her mother had been very old fashioned and had stayed at home when she
and her sister were young. Her father was the breadwinner and expected her mother to keep the home clean and prepare meals. As a result, she seemed angry about her place in life.
‘I asked Jinnie if her mother’s experience had coloured her view of ageing and she admitted that it had. So now it was time to introduce one of the NLP techniques.
‘I asked Jinnie to imagine that she was at the cinema. Right in front of her is the screen, and I asked her to imagine a small black and white picture of her mother telling her how her own life was not worth living. And then get rid of the image, to make it a white one, and to make it much bigger.
‘Then I asked her to add colour – beautiful colour that lifted her spirits. She was to see her mother smiling broadly and looking younger than her years. Her mother’s younger, more vibrant voice was cajoling her to make the very best of her life.
‘This exercise had to be repeated several times, but Jinnie did start to look at ageing in a different light.
‘With a change of mind set, women over 50 can greatly improve the quality of their life.’
I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT MANY WOMEN REACH A SILENT CONCLUSION THAT, AFTER RAISING CHILDRENAND/OR HAVING SUCCESSFUL CAREERS, IT’S TIME TO ACCEPT A DETERIORATING QUALITY OF LIFE
Elizabeth Roddick
scottishpharmacist.com 45
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