Best brunch
of bruncher are you?
We break down the groups you’re most
likely to see—or be— at your next outing.
WHAT KIND
BRUNCH THAT’S REALLY AN EXCUSE TO PARTY
The bachelorettes
A soon-to-be-married lady and her girlfriends celebrate her upcoming nuptials over bottomless mimosas. Spot this table of women wearing matching shirts, sashes and/or crowns and toasting constantly.
Mom squad Maybe it’s for a book club or a
birthday, but this bunch teems with middle-aged women ready to gossip and let loose…until a babysitter calls.
áBagatelle Miami Beach Pregaming bros
Before a big football game or after early-morning golf, this group of dudes huddles over beers and burgers.
The avo zombies
If it’s on the menu, you better believe that every single person at this table will order the avocado toast— poached egg optional. To drink? Cold brew or matcha, it’s a toss-up.
You squandered your Saturday night, and now it’s time to make up for the fun you missed. This French restaurant disguises itself as posh and buttoned-up, but as you take bites of your croque monsieur and sips of rosé, you’ll notice the music getting louder and the dining room darker. Then suddenly, the beat drops, and your sexy French waiter sidles up next to you, climbs on the chair and wildly waves his white napkin in the air. That’s your cue to put down the fork and surrender to the DJ along with the rest of the crowd in various stages of drunken bliss. à220 21st St, Miami Beach (305-704-3900,
bagatellemiami.com). Sun noon–6pm.
RUNNERS UP The DTFP
A designer outfit, $500 sunnies and a haircut or blowout that cost as much as the bottle he/she is about to pop are the markers of a down-to- fucking-party bruncher. Get with it or get out of their way.
Time Out Miami May 18–August 16, 2017
Nikki Beach Miami This fete takes you from buffet to
bikini: The unlimited spread is followed by magnum bottles of champagne, cabanas on the sand and EDM beats all afternoon. à 1 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach (305-538-1111, nikkibeach .com). Sun 11am–4pm; unlimited brunch buffet $49.95.
16
Seaspice Looking to mingle with Miami’s seafaring
crowd? Live the yacht life with flowing champagne and elaborate takes on typical brunch fare like deviled eggs with caviar and lobster Benedict. à422 NW North River Dr (305-440-4200, seaspicemiami .com). Sat, Sun noon–3pm.
PHOTOGRAPH: CHRIS CARTER
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