Play virtual / Live real Play virtual / Live real Breck Bednar – an everyday


schoolboy caught in an


evil trap... B


reck Bednar was just like any other fourteen-year-old boy. He lived life with gusto, had an interest in


gaming and computers and a huge appetite. But Breck was ensnared in an evil trap and never came home from meeting the predator who had groomed him online over a long period of time.


Most parents and their children find it difficult to believe this kind of tragic outcome could happen to an intelligent, loved, boy with a wide circle of friends. But it can happen to any child, no matter how sensible and cared for they are.


Now his mother Lorin LaFave, founder of The Breck Foundation, campaigns for better awareness of the signs of grooming and a community response to it. Lorin says, “We want to equip our young people with digital resilience, so that when we are not there, they can make safe decisions.”


Using Breck’s story as a platform for discussion


The dangers online can be a difficult topic to discuss with children and young people. Lorin introduces the Foundation’s approach: “Using a real story, such as Breck’s makes it believable, it’s truth, it can happen again and has happened again – every day children are being approached and abused online.” So we must all take responsibility for understanding the problem and the preventative measures we can put in place.


The Breck Rules


The Foundation has developed The BRECK Rules to start the discussion and these provide a simple way for everyone to remember their advice.


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B is for ... Be Aware of the characteristics of grooming


The first step is to recognise an unhealthy relationship; in particular, to understand the signs of bullying and grooming.


Breck’s predator was obsessed with Breck, stalking him online, constantly messaging him and isolating him from his friends, eventually attempting to control and change Breck’s every move. Lorin explains, “It’s really flattering to get all this attention, compliments and gifts. But you need to think this through – why are they isolating me and getting me to change how I think?”


Also, be aware that boys can be groomed, as well as girls, and predators can be any age, Breck’s predator was just 18.


B is also for … Believe it is happening


Those around Breck did not believe that a boy like him could be lured to his death. It is imperative to believe that this could happen to you or someone you know. Lorin says, “We need to believe these predators are very subtle and clever. I tried to save Breck. I talked to teachers, vicars, nurses, governors, no one knew what advice to give.”


In fact, when Lorin phoned the police, the person on the phone thought Lorin was being paranoid. She says, “The police neglected to check the records because they did not


www. c i t y s e cu r i t yma g a z i n e . com


recognise that boys can be groomed too, didn’t understand child sexual exploitation and didn’t know what questions to ask.” In response to this lack of awareness, one of the Foundation’s focuses is training the police. In a collaboration with four forces, they have created a training film called Breck’s Last Game. This is available now to all schools by contacting The Breck Foundation or their local police force. It goes public via YouTube in the spring, however, Lorin says, “We want young people to view the film at school with the lesson plans and support.”


R is for … Report it when something doesn’t feel right


Lorin says, “We want young people to report instances when they have been asked to do something that doesn’t feel right, like removing clothing during a video chat. If that perpetrator doesn’t get that child, they will move on to another one. They keep going until someone makes a mistake. We want young people to remember Breck and his mistakes and not repeat them.”


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