MENTAL HEALTH I was asked recently in a room of strangers to “introduce myself”


and the most daunting of all; “What do you do?” This is the point where our acutely wired brain and its multitude of tools tend to jam itself, or rather depersonalize from the rest of us, abandoning the idea that we are whole individuals and instead presenting who we are from a third-person perspective. “Well, I'm sort of a…”


, and “I’m slightly…” are often the


disjointed outcomes we tend to hear along with the seeping sense of imposter syndrome which so many of us at some point commonly experience. Contextualizing this a little, earlier in 2023 I was stoked to


attend the 2022 BMC Women in Adventure screening amidst the Sheffield Adventure Film Festival where I received the judge's special mention award for the production of my short film “Ladylike”. I was given the opportunity to expand briefly to the audience about the importance of platforms to facilitate the introduction of young women into mountaineering and courage to continue challenging the gender divide within outdoor pursuits. I felt pretty privileged to follow this up with a terrific skills


workshop facilitated by the BMC and some of the extremely inspirational other entrants, as I found myself immersed in such a wide variety of athletes and creatives sharing their projects and the source of their flow. Before this I had never really encountered the thought of adorning


myself the title of a “filmmaker”; it seemed too professional, too curated and far too perfect for what I would deem myself worthy of compared to the likes of what I look to for inspiration. But, as the other workshop attendees and I got to know each


other a little better within the circle of those around the table, we were asked to introduce ourselves with a few words explaining what had brought us there, and what we were aiming to gain from the session. Having listened to a plethora of photographers, mountaineers, writers, ultramarathon runners, scientists and artists disclose what made them tick, I felt wholly immersed in respectful awe, so much so that when it came around to say a few words about myself, it felt rather like I was swimming in a sea that I shouldn’t be in. My introduction was topped off quickly with the dismal selection


of words “I’m sort of a filmmaker” which led to me being quickly halted in my tracks by one of the women who sat beside me.


“BEING CERTAIN OF WHO WE ARE, AND WHAT WE DEFINE OURSELVES AS CAN BE ONE OF THE HARDEST PSYCHOLOGICAL STORMS TO WEATHER.”


“No you ARE a filmmaker, say it!” She reinforced to me firmly with a smile. I smiled thankfully back at this with an essence of comical relief and repeated what she had said, leaving us as a group laughing over the common thought process which we all seemed to share when it came to declaring ourselves with a label. What causes these immense feelings of half-being which we


experience though? And at what point do we make the shift from someone who likes doing the activity, to a do(er) of the activity? Someone who profoundly finds enjoyment from making art to an Artist, an avid player of the violin to a violinist, someone who feels the most fulfilment from climbing to a climber? A good exploration of the imposter syndrome paradox is a TED


Talk by Dr Lisa and Dr Richard Orbé-Austin, a short discussion which delves deeper into the impaired ability to recognise or accept our achievements and the fraudulent feelings that often adjoin this. They make the valid point that to become a "doer" of something, is usually


46 | CLIMB. WALK. JOIN.


because we actively schedule and make time for our desired activity within our lives, as a priority over many other forms of pass-time. As a quantitative measure, this seems pretty logical; you wouldn’t call yourself a paraglider if you didn’t actively go paragliding on a regular basis, but contrastingly comes the measurement of ourselves on a qualitative or rather more personal level. To give another perspective, a quote which encapsulates this


well derives from the 1930 published novel: “Mountaineering” by T.A.H. Peacocke, a small volume, though published nearly a century ago, gives a beautiful insight into the deeper mental capacity which we have when defining ourselves. “What is a true mountaineer?” It is someone who loves mountains and longs to be within them, climbing their flanks and ridges, gazing on their summits from below as well as from above. Someone who desires to see mountains in all their moods. Someone to whom climbing is the breath of life.”


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