notion of performance or reliability. The salesperson is “starting fresh.” How will they be viewed when they make their presenta-
tion? This is business, not a personality contest. The pros- pect wants to deal with someone who is competent and knowledgeable. Being a “nice guy with a winning smile” helps, but the sales rep with high self-esteem doesn’t base his performance solely on the buyer’s attraction to per- sonal charm. Will he be able to persuade the prospect? Much of that depends on the prospect. But the salesperson with high self-esteem will, on closing their presentation, feel confi- dent they’ve done the best job possible. If the prospect buys – great. If not, the sales rep analyzes their perfor- mance with an eye to make improvements for their next meeting with the buyer, then moves on to another sales prospect. They don’t pick apart themselves or the buyer. The active ingredient in management of self-esteem is choice. You can choose to either regulate your feelings and self-esteem or let events do this for you. As a child, you relied on the adults in your life to help foster feelings of self-worth. To some degree, this continues into adult- hood, with employers commenting on (and hopefully praising) your work. However, you control the quality of your work, how you feel about your performance, etc.; hence, you supervise the esteem derived from your sales career. The less you participate in this essential manage- ment function, the less satisfaction you will feel and the lower your self-esteem.
Managing Self-Expectations
Imagine you’d been asked to train a racehorse. Notwith- standing the fact that you may know nothing about it, you would probably start with some basic principles of com- mon sense. If the horse were young, you’d expect him to make mistakes initially. You’d start him running short dis- tances, then work up to a goal, focusing on his potential. Finally, you’d recognize that the horse would need praise and encouragement in order to be motivated. Horses respond to feelings, too. Makes sense, doesn’t it? So why treat yourself with any less interest or concern than you would a horse? The expectations you have of yourself can be used to regulate your own self-esteem. Here are some examples: • Expectation of one’s ability: Expect to make mistakes, to lose sales from time to time – and learn to correct your errors. Expecting to be perfect is the surest route to disappointment. • Expectation to grow beyond the present situation: Focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t. What’s more important: giving one good presentation and get- ting the order, or rushing through six calls and losing every sale? Concentrate on refining your present talents, then expand them.
• Expectation to focus on one’s potential: Other people tend to view us by our past accomplishments, while we tend to judge ourselves by what we will do in the future. Healthy self-esteem comes from knowing what you want and not from dwelling on what you don’t want. • Expectation to focus on your need to feel good:
There’s no law against it. Each time we satisfy our need to feel good, we create a deposit of happiness. Each time we label ourselves bad or attack our self-esteem, we deplete our most valuable resource and risk poor personal and professional performance.
YOUR OWN SELF-ESTEEM
MANAGEMENT PROGRAM Feelings are contagious. So is esteem. Your positive self- esteem will lift the spirits of others as surely as a smile generates more smiles. Conversely, low self-esteem draws out the worst in others. Buyers can sense the tension between your real self and any mask you may choose to wear – they, too, may don a mask in your presence, but they won’t feel comfortable until all pretense is dropped. Feeling good about yourself will be highly visible to
others, positively influencing their own feelings about themselves. Your positive attitude signals that you ac- cept others for what they are – and that may be one of the most basic human needs. Low self-esteem is almost always taken out on others, with the sorry result of alien- ation from colleagues and clients. Have you ever noticed how, when you feel bad, you become more demanding of others? You want them to change – to fit your expec- tations. While you may be able to disguise your verbal negativism, your low self-esteem will come through via nonverbal signals. Why go through the trouble and heartache of avoid-
ing the problem with masks and games? Accept yourself and you’ll give up your wish for others to fit your expec- tations. Accept your buyers and you’ll become effective in selling. Next time you’re on a sales call, try concentrating on
this bit of positive self-talk. It comes from an old pro who carried it in his wallet throughout his selling career of 42 years: “I feel good about myself. I am well prepared for this call and there’s nothing I can’t handle. I know my customer has a need for the product. He appears reason- able and he’s good-natured behind the masks he needs to wear occasionally. He can be thoughtless at times, but his attitude has no bearing on the good feeling I have about myself. I’ll accept myself, feel able to handle my customer’s attitude, and manage possible conflicts to the best of my ability.” There’s no better way to have customers flock to you than
to reach out to them first. The key is your own self-esteem. SELLING POWER MAY/JUNE 2023
| 23 © 2023 SELLING POWER. CALL 1-800-752-7355 FOR REPRINT PERMISSION.
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