BREAKING UP, BREAKING THROUGH, BREAKING GROUND
MENDS FENCES H
eartbreak is a two-way street. When a couple end their relationship, the pain cuts both ways, and that pain can be profound and confusing. Unrequited love
is alienating, especially in the queer community, but we rarely consider the perspective of those who pursue us to no avail. These are the dynamics of country singer Cameron Hawthorn’s contemplative ballad, To Break Hers. “When I sat down to write this song,” Hawthorn
recalls, “the thing that sticks with me the most about that breakup is her uncontrollable tears when I actually decided to break up with her.” His unnamed heroine in the hit song is based on an
ex-girlfriend. His lyrics explore the complexities of being unable to find true love until you experience true loss. “When you go through a breakup like that, especially
as a gay man who has gone through quite a bit to get to where I am now, that kind of breakup stays with you, in a way that kind of haunted me, I feel like,” he says. “And so I was able to really process the breakup once I sat down to write this song, and look back on it all, and really think about her and how much hurt I had caused her.” Hawthorn has created his own subgenre of country music founded on visceral honesty. His breakthrough single, Dancing in the Living Room, is a testament to simplicity and longing. The LGBTQ movement has broken barriers, fought widespread discrimination, and
performs on an old-timey black-and-white TV screen. Hawthorn is styled like a 1950s Western character, complete with a tidy bandana and pressed cowboy shirt. He is serenading a straight couple as they waltz in a cramped yet comfy setting. Then suddenly, the scene explodes with color.
Hawthorn’s dreamy complexion pulses to life as he continues his ode to romantic coupling, but now the story expands to include a more diverse audience. We watch as two women sway in time with the tune. “We do us, and love is love,” Hawthorn sings, serving as a charismatic emcee to modern sexuality. The video ends by breaking the fourth wall.
Hawthorn packs up his guitar and saunters purpose- fully from the stage on which he had been performing. We follow his intoxicating swagger as he ventures home, where he joins a scruffy-faced paramour who is eagerly awaiting Hawthorn’s arrival. The two men lock hands and share a dance of their own. It feels like both a revelation and a relief. Hawthorn goes from entertainer to participant before our very
COUNTRY CROONER CAMERON HAWTHORN
won several important victories in our journey toward acceptance, but what we really want is just a familiar embrace. Hawthorn sings so eloquently about that yearning for intimacy in Dancing in the Living Room, and the video adds several intriguing layers to the already profound tune. “I had been dreaming of making that music video for a long time,” Hawthorn says. In the visual narrative, the singer-songwriter
October 2020 | @theragemonthly 27
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