closing opinion
by anne m. haule
T
“BUT IT’S A PLURAL PRONOUN . . .”
hat’s what many older people, who pride themselves on their grammar, say about use of the pronouns “they” and “them” in referring to an individual. To be honest, that’s what I thought— but did not say— the
first time it came up in my life. A few years ago, I was part of a group of American Civil
Liberties Union (ACLU) volunteers participating in a lobby day in Sacramento, California. When we signed in for our first meeting, we were asked to fill out name badges with our names and pronouns. Initially, I had to stop and think to remember what a pronoun is and, next, I wondered why I was being asked. My question was soon answered when the group moderator
explained that some people do not identify as being male or female notwithstanding the sexual organs they are born with. It was further explained that “sex” and “gender” are separate concepts. Sex refers to genitalia and gender refers to personal, societal and cultural perceptions of sexuality. As to the grammar matter, it
turns out that “they/them” has long been used in the English language in reference to a single person. Wikipedia explains that the usage of “they” to describe an individual was in use as far back as the 14th
century and has
an appendage to their husbands as inMr. and Mrs. John Smith. An informative website that helped me understand more
about this pronoun issue
ismypronouns.org. Following are some tips and clues from this website that I found particularly interesting and helpful: 1. Don’t make assumptions about gender based on
appearance. 2. Using the pronouns a person requests shows respect. 3. Using incorrect pronouns can be offensive. 4. People who go by non-gendered pronouns may be
intersex, transgender, non-binary and otherwise gender nonconforming. 5. Using a person’s name, rather than guess at pronouns, is a way to avoid mistakes.
“Initially, I thought use of they/them was kind of silly. However, after meeting some folks who use ‘they/them’ and educating myself on the matter, and ultimately remembering my own issue with prefixes, I now understand how important words can be.”
been commonly used ever since. Examples of singular use ofthey are: “Somebody left their umbrella in the office – please let them know where they can find it.” “A journalist should not be forced to reveal their sources.” Initially, I thought use of “they/them”was kind of silly. However,
after meeting some folks who use “they/them” and educating myself on the matter, and ultimately remembering my own issue with prefixes, I now understand how important words can be. In the 1970s, the term “Ms.” came into our lexicon. I remember
how many people thought this appellation was silly, too. People exaggerated the pronunciation to sound like “Mizzz”and some snickered when asked to use it instead of Miss or Mrs. As a young woman in 1970s, I was thrilled to have a prefix to my
name that did not identify me as either married or not married. As an early feminist, I embraced “Ms.” as an enlightened advance- ment, just as I disdained etiquette’s norm of classifying women as
6. Use of gender-neutral language is another way to avoid mistakes. 7. When in doubt, ask what
pronouns to use. 8. If you make a mistake,
apologize and do better the next time. In addition to addressing people as individuals, there’s also the matter of addressing groups. When speaking in public and/or moderating a meeting instead of saying “ladies and gentlemen,” use salutations such as “friends,” “colleagues,” “friends and colleagues,” or “esteemed guests.”
Likewise, instead of saying “men and women” or “boys and girls,” consider using “everyone” or “all of you in attendance” to avoid potentially offending some in your audience. My takeaway after doing research on this topic and meeting
with gender nonconforming individuals is that using the pronouns people request is important and it is an important sign of respect. Just as I view use of “Ms.” as a sign of respect for women without regard to their marital status, I now understand that the use of “they” is a sign of respect for persons without regard to their gender.
Anne M. Haule is a retired healthcare attorney from Chicago who moved to San Diego 10 years ago. Haule is also a political opinion and feature writer. An ardent feminist, Haule volunteers with NARAL, The Women’s Museum of Cali- fornia, SDSU Department of Women’s Studies 50 Year Anniversary Committee, Run Women Run, and the National Organization for Women.
62
ragemonthly.com | March 2020
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64
