millennial matters
by cutter slagle
“
A THIN LINE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG
Recently, I’ve been contemplating relationships. Not just partner relationships. All sorts of relationships: relationships with
parents, friends, even the short — albeit significant — relationship we share with a waitstaff person. In case you’ve forgotten, eating is still my favorite pastime. Now, regardless of the type of relationship you share with someone, no matter
who that person is to you, there will come a time when one of you is right and the other is wrong. It’s inevitable. And, again, depending on the type of relationship shared, that can lead to unpleasant words, hurt feelings, even tears. The issue of right and wrong generally arises because the world we live in is not
black and white all of the time; there can be and often are gray areas. Sure, if your partner, parent or friend is robbing banks, there’s a pretty good chance that their actions are wrong — not to mention, illegal. Side note: If you do hypothetically have someone in your life robbing banks and that person has too much money on their hands, I can hypothetically be reached through my website. I’m not referring to right and wrong circumstances that, for the most part,
everyone can decipher. Well, everyone except for babies and, you know, Donald Trump. I’m more interested in issues like . . . snoring, for example. If your partner snores, is that person automatically wrong? Chances are, your
partner doesn’t snore on purpose and isn’t doing it to piss you off. Your partner may not even know they snore. So, do you make a big deal about it because you feel as if you’re right in this situation? Or, do you just learn to sleep with earplugs and occasionally kick and elbow your partner in the middle of the night? Driving is another wonderful case of a gray area. Unless the person behind the
wheel is blindfolded, running over pedestrians or texting, who gets to determine if the driver is a good driver (i.e. right) or not? Perhaps this individual never mastered the ability to keep the vehicle at a consistent speed or doesn’t really know much about horn etiquette. Yet, as long as they are following the rules of the road, how is it fair for you to say otherwise? Better yet,why do you think you get to tell them that they a shitty driver (i.e. wrong)? When it comes to friendships and communication, who gets to decide on the boundaries, and whether these boundaries are right or wrong? Say that one friend likes or even needs to text every single day and hang out at least once a week. However, the other friend is a little less high maintenance, doesn’t need consistent validation, and actually prefers a life of solitude 80 percent of the time. You may believe these two people shouldn’t be friends. Easy fix, right? Opposites don’t always attract, and in this scenario, each individual seems to have a completely different set of needs. But, devil’s advocate here, what if they get along really well and enjoy each other? Should a relationship — any type of relationship — be thrown away just because of a little gray area? It boils down to two things: balance and choosing your battles. Specifically,
not every disagreement needs to erupt into a battle, one that concludes with someone being right and someone being wrong. Further, the best and healthiest relationships are those that have balance. Balance in the form of, you may be willing to ignore the snoring and the less-than-smooth driving skills of a certain person but are unable to overlook qualities in that same person that are
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It’s fine to have those non-negotiable points, even expected, as long as they’re few and far between. After all, if you’re too serious, too opinionated, and take things too personally, then who in the hell is going to want to be around you?”
sometimes construed as clinginess or overly sensitive. Ultimately, it’s up to you to consider what’s worth fighting for, the circum-
stances in which you feel as youhave to be right. Another side note: If you feel as if you have to be right all of the time, you’re wrong. What matters the most to you? What are you so passionate about and have
such an ironclad stance on that you’re not willing to budge? Not even for a partner, parent or friend. It’s fine to have those non-negotiable points, even expected, as long as they’re few and far between. After all, if you’re too serious, too opinionated, and take things too personally, then who in the hell is going to want to be around you?
Cutter Slagle is the author of suspense, horror and crime-fiction works. Discover more at
cutterslagle.com
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