healthy kids


“When we wake up in the morning, the first words we say are those of gratitude that we have awakened and have the op- portunity for a new day.” At dinner time, some families play


The good news about gratitude is that it is one of the more growable character strengths—and it’s never too late.


~Giacomo Bono


“a rose, a thorn, a bud”—with each per- son saying what happened that day that they’re grateful for, what problems came up and what they’re looking forward to. As a bedtime ritual, Heidi McBain, a counselor and author in Flower Mound, Texas, follows a routine with her two children that includes “reading, checking in about their day—the good/bad/ugly— and at least one thing they are grateful for from their day. And I oſten share mine, as well!”


Kids With Gratitude 3 T


Making Thankfulness Second Nature by Ronica O’Hara


his Tanksgiving, there’s some- thing to be especially thankful for—gratitude itself. Emerging


research shows gratitude to be one of the easiest, most effective ways to kickstart happiness and well-being. “Te good news about gratitude is that it is one of the more growable character strengths— and it’s never too late,” says Giacomo Bono, Ph.D., an assistant professor at California State University, in Domin- guez Hills, and co-author of Making Grateful Kids: Te Science of Building Character. It’s also never too early to “plant”


it: Even toddlers love to parrot, “Tank you.” Research by Bono and others shows kids that are grateful are happier, more engaged and studious, and less envious, depressed, materialistic and prone to vio- lence. It can be taught: Aſter one week of daily 30-minute lessons on gratitude, 8- to 11-year-olds wrote thank-you notes for a PTA presentation that were 80 percent longer than notes by kids that didn’t have the lessons.


To instill gratefulness in a child: 1


Be grateful and show it. “Kids are more likely to do some- thing if they see adults around them


doing it,” says Bono. “Being specific with your words helps, too, because it shows what behavior mattered to you and why.” Adds psychologist Mary Jo Podgur-


ski, founder and president of the Acad- emy for Adolescent Health, in Wash- ington, Pennsylvania: “If we express our gratitude by making eye contact, with sincerity and by providing an example of how much we are appreciative, the words are empowered. Telling the grocery clerk, ‘I really like the way you packed my berries on top. Tanks for taking the time to be careful with my purchases,’ will light up the clerk’s face.” Tat can translate into a child not simply say- ing, “Tank you” to a grandparent for birthday money, but also explaining how excited they are about the game they plan to buy with it.


2


Enact a small daily ritual. “It’s also good for families to come up with gratitude rituals,” says


Bono. “Everyday conversations about the good things and people we have or encounter in life, and being specific with words, helps young children understand the connection between kindness and feeling grateful better.” For writer Judy Gruen’s family in Los Angeles, this means a morning prayer:


Make gratitude fun. By getting creative, we can make kids’ expressions of gratitude even


more enjoyable. Business coach Kristi Andrus, in Denver, says that her family toasts a lot at mealtime, raising their glasses and clinking them. “Our toasts are simple, ‘Today I’m grateful, thank- ful, or happy to share ________.’ [fill in the blank]. Te kids love it and the parents always smile at what the kids bring up.” Charlene Hess, in Eagle Mountain,


Utah, a blogger and homeschooling mom to seven kids, has set up a grati- tude door with a sticky note added each day from each child. “Tis really helps the kids become more aware of all the good things in their lives, particularly as time goes on and they have to get more creative with their responses.” “A rampage of appreciation” is what


Jeannette Paxia, a motivational speaker and children’s book author in Modesto, California, does with her five children: “We spend 10 minutes walking around and appreciating all we see. My children love it!” In the home of northern New Jersey


therapist Shuli Sandler, when one family member shows gratitude to another, a coin is put in a jar. “When it is full, the whole family can go out and do some- thing together, like grab ice cream or something fun—remembering of course to say thank you,” she says.


Ronica A. O’Hara is a Denver-based natural-health writer. Connect at OHara- Ronica@gmail.com.


November 2019 29


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