RELATIONSHIPS


From conflict to harmony


Whether it occurs with a romantic partner, friends and family, or co-workers, conflict is a part of life. The question isn't whether it will happen, but how we handle it. Here are some great tips.


by Emma Power A


s individuals, we are always going to bring new ideas, world views, and ways of being to a


relationship. This can be an extremely positive gift, helping each other to expand and grow. But at times, it is inevitable that differing ideas, opinions, or hiccups in communication can also lead to conflict. When this happens, if left unresolved, there is the potential for real damage to be done, particularly if it re-occurs over time. Although it is unrealistic to expect a


relationship to be completely conflict- free, we do have the ability to reduce the refractory period – the time it takes to come back to harmony. The sooner we can make a connection during conflict, or after conflict, the less permanent or damaging the repercussions will be. The speed with which we learn to reconnect


42 MARCH | APRIL 2018


will often determine how quickly the issue is resolved. Let's be honest here. Engaging in


actions that reach out to the other person during conflict may be the last thing you feel like doing at the time. So, for the record, no one is saying that it’s going to be easy. In fact, it might take everything you have to rise above your desire to hold onto your grudge. Our egoic instinct is to defend ourselves. It may feel completely counter-intuitive to stop the battle to reach out to the other. However, if we can do so, it's a double bonus – not only are we are more likely to reduce the conflict, but we’ve just had a win over our ego’s need to strengthen itself. The following are examples of what


can be done to amend the situation as quickly as possible.


TOUCH Reach out physically. If touch is already an appropriate element of your existing relationship, it’s one of the most powerful and effective tools you have in your tool-kit. Reach out a hand to touch the knee or shoulder of the other, or perhaps wrap them up in a big bear hug. Try to make this contact even when it’s difficult, even when the conversation intensifies. Reach out and touch when you’re giving each other the silent treatment. When one of you makes this move, the whole dynamic will change instantly. When we are in conflict, we can so easily be stuck in our heads, going around in circles, thinking we have so many reasons to cut ourselves off from the other person. Touch will bring you both out of your heads, and back into your body,


IMAGE: PRISCILLA DU PREEZ


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40  |  Page 41  |  Page 42  |  Page 43  |  Page 44  |  Page 45  |  Page 46  |  Page 47  |  Page 48  |  Page 49  |  Page 50  |  Page 51  |  Page 52  |  Page 53  |  Page 54  |  Page 55  |  Page 56  |  Page 57  |  Page 58  |  Page 59  |  Page 60  |  Page 61  |  Page 62  |  Page 63  |  Page 64  |  Page 65  |  Page 66  |  Page 67  |  Page 68  |  Page 69  |  Page 70  |  Page 71  |  Page 72  |  Page 73  |  Page 74  |  Page 75  |  Page 76  |  Page 77  |  Page 78  |  Page 79  |  Page 80  |  Page 81  |  Page 82  |  Page 83  |  Page 84  |  Page 85  |  Page 86  |  Page 87  |  Page 88  |  Page 89  |  Page 90  |  Page 91  |  Page 92  |  Page 93  |  Page 94  |  Page 95  |  Page 96  |  Page 97  |  Page 98  |  Page 99  |  Page 100