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A PERSONAL JOURNEY by korie houston
Once you’re in the LGBTQIA community,
you’re in it for life. It’s a community full of love and empowerment and yet, the thing that sets us apart from the
rest...is coming out. For some people this process is a chance to step into that rainbow light and live in our truth. To others it’s just another grey area that divides us from the heterosexual community.
THE QUESTION I’LL ASK IS: WHY DO WE COME OUT? I believe it’s a chance to be yourself and is so
much more than just leaving the metaphorical closet. It can be a liberating or empowering experience. It’s not this rite of passage to be accepted, it’s about accepting yourself for who you are as a human being. It’s also important for the upcoming generations of queer-identifying individuals to know that there isn’t just one way to come out, because defining who you are is something you do on your own terms. Everyone’s story is different. Not that long
ago, coming out wasn’t something that anyone within our community would risk their life to do. In some places in the world, we’re still being persecuted for who we are and there are those who are afraid to be themselves. That isn’t okay. In an idealistic world, I would agree that there’s no need to come out…We don’t live in that world though. I for one, am someone who still struggles for
the right moment where I can come out. I’m black, I’m queer and I come from a family with a traditional background. The odds are against me sometimes and I’m afraid. I’m out to everyone but my family, which makes me feel like I’m not being the most authentic version of myself that I could be. I’ve spent so much time lying to myself that I’m okay with hiding a huge piece of my life. I’m not.
REDEFINING: COMING OUT
My experience might be different from someone else’s and that’s okay. There’s never a perfect moment to come out and there’s no manual on how to do it. If you’re someone who doesn’t feel that they need to come out, don’t let the world pressure you into doing so. For those who want to, then just be yourself. It doesn’t matter how old you are, life experience isn’t necessarily a factor in coming out. What defines homosexuality? Is it my appearance, the way I talk, or the way I act? No. It’s the attraction to the same sex. No matter what I did or where I went, I’d always hear the words “faggot” or “gay” in such a negative light. It didn’t hurt as much as it could have, but hearing these words made me feel less inclined to come out. The only people I grew up with who did so, were people I had nothing in common with. I felt alone, but looking back now, I don’t regret keeping my sexuality hidden. I just didn’t feel comfort- able enough with myself at the time. When you’re different, you just know.
While I was still going through high school, I had people constantly tell me to “man up.” If people are going to assume who I am, then do I just accept that? The answer to that question is, I don’t know. When you feel like you’re being outed there’s not many options. I handled it the best way I knew how. That’s the important part. I didn’t feel ready to acknowledge my sexuality then, but, now I feel like it’s time to redefine my own narrative. It all starts and ends with self-affirmation.
There’s no right or wrong way. If you want to scream to the world who you are, then do it. Coming out can be built up as this beautiful moment of love and acceptance, or it can just be a simple moment of self-realization and moving forward. It’s no one else’s business but your own. If you choose to come out, don’t be afraid to live in your truth.
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RAGE monthly | AUGUST 2017
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