HOME & GARDEN GUIDE #2 A Sane Enterprise?
Growing vegetables was part of who I was. It suited my frugal life style and a belief system based on the tangible and sensible. Why jog or play golf when health benefi ts from fresh air and exercise could be reaped along with organic, free food.
But I had two golden
Glenn Ellen, CA. ~ Eden awaited me when I bought my house in California with a huge back garden. I come from gen- erations of farmers and know all about the good earth. The land yielded a harvest of tender vegetables bursting with fl avor and vitamins - luscious, meaty tomatoes, crunchy burpless cu- cumbers, golden variety juicy beets. Nothing could compare to extra-sweet, extra-early corn.
retrievers who loved to dig around the muddy spots and chew at the corn stalks. No amount of stern fi nger shaking or using the “shame phooey” word (the worst thing you could say to an animal) altered their willful behavior. So I built a chicken wire fence around the garden to keep them out, and all was well.
Over the years, the fence
began to look ugly. I planted some fl owers inside, but the wire blocked their loveliness. I kept noticing the fence, not the vegetables. I began to long
By Jean Wong ~
lijeanwong.blogspot.com
for aesthetics instead of food. Food you could always go out and buy. Vegetables were cheap and it was a hassle to fi gure out what to do with the excess. I dreaded the yearly canning and pickling.
The fence had to go. But how could I keep the garden pro- tected? How about that small plot by the already fenced-in side of the house? I’d have to downsize, but who needs zuc- chini monsters that double their size every night? If you try giving them away, people get insulted. And corn hogs up all the space and fertilizer. To- matoes of course; but I never did like beans. You eat one or two cucumbers and pretty soon you’ve had your fi ll for the summer. What a relief not to have to wash dirty carrots and stomp on innocent snails. Beauty was the new bounty. A palette of colors began to fl y off my trowel— majestic blue delphiniums, sprightly purple lobelia, bright yellow transvaal daisies, tropical orange hibis- cus,
scarlet over-sized dahl-
ias, multi-hued gladioluses. A splashy vibrancy danced on the earth.
I put in a fountain with deli- cate white gaura hanging over it. Potato vines reared over the back fence, pink-toned azaleas rounded a side curvature. A stately arbor went up for climb- ing red roses and prolifi c wis- teria laced its way up a lattice
above my deck. My garden was transformed from mundane ag- riculture to unimagined delight. One particularly severe win-
ter, the hardy snapdragons, stock, and iceland poppies that usually did well in January, sat lifeless. Browsing through a craft store, I happened upon a cluster of delicate silk violets. How fi ne they were and so life like! I bought a few and fur- tively stuck them in the ground so they could peep out from behind a leafy perennial. Who would ever know? What sly satisfaction to have some fl o- ral display even on the frosti- est of days. Gradually I began to comb stores for clever fi nds - nothing plastic or tacky, but well crafted and authentic. Each piece blended in with the proper season and placed just so, heeding rules of line and composition. Restraint and taste were required for this bal- ance of the real and artifi cial. Compliments from visitors on my “early” March varieties, gave me gleeful satisfaction. I began to enjoy this challenge even more than “real” garden- ing. In fact, I view with pride the fact that more than half of my fl owers are fake. Now I am a little afraid of my
own wild impulses. Where will this lead? Is this truly harm- less or does it somehow refl ect a darker tendency to mislead and deceive? Okay, I have a ce-
... continued on page 20
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May 2015 • 14 JOKES & Humor # 6
A young woman, visiting her new doctor for the fi rst time, found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undress- ing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her gar- ments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully. “Miss Jones,” he said fi nally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never had an eye examination.”
May is Merry
... continued from page 5 Cher, neither shy or small,
was born May 20, 1946, in El Centro, CA, but it is hard to fathom that she is now 64. Enterprising, she’s labeled a singer, actress, model, fashion designer, television host, come- dian, songwriter, dancer, busi- nesswoman,
philanthropist,
author, fi lm producer, director and record producer. Phew! To my way of thinking, Cher is to- day’s answer to the humorous writer, Mary Jane West, (Born 1893) better known as Mae West, one of the “greatest fe- male stars of all time” says the American Film Institute. Film fans can buy West’s 1933 “She Done Him Wrong,” based on her 1928 Broadway hit play, “Diamond Lil.” Cher’s best fi lm hits are available as well. In silly Merry Prankster mode this May, an old newspaper col- league of mine shares a “gold- en oldie” for us here in Wine Country whenever we need to cook a turkey for a crowd. “The 17 step Recipe for Cooking Tur- key”: 1) Buy a turkey. 2) Have
... continued on page 20 “Resist much, obey little.” ~ Walt Whitman
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